Surviving the Holidays Single

For those that are newly single or just facing yet another Christmas/New Years with no one it's not always easy to cope with being alone. Sometimes this leads us to make stupid decisions like not leaving bed for days or dating a crappy guy out of desperation. While I can't magically help you find the love of  your life I guarantee you won't find him at the bottom of a tub of Ben and Jerry's.

Last Christmas break I spent the majority of time in bed surrounded by cats no joke. It was on the fourth day that I hadn't left my room and I was covered in cats, crying because the wedding dress I loved was being discontinued that my parents and sister intervened. They told me that I had to shower because it was sad and just plain gross. My incentive was ice cream. That was definitely a low point I never plan on reaching again so here are my helpful tips to stop you for doing what I did.

#1 Stay busy!

I know that the nice part about break is that you get to relax and maybe sleep in a bit. The only problem is that you can't let sleep be the only thing on your schedule. Try to set a time you have to wake up and things to do so you don't end up in bed till mid-afternoon everyday. Some ideas would be visiting old friends to catch up, going to make new friends, or even just going out to window shop. Anything is better than nothing!

My bed was covered in cats!

#2 Create a support system.

Even if you are away from your best friends over break make sure that you have check in times with them. If you start feeling really blue make sure you have someone that you can call to vent to that will cheer you up.

#3 Dress your best.

I've realized for myself that how I look affects how I feel. If everyday I don't get dressed or put in my contacts or fix my hair I start to feel as sloppy as I look. This isn't to say that you have to be dressed to the nines every time you go to Walmart but at least put on some real pants for heavens sakes.

This was my outfit for most of break.

#4 Don't let relatives get you down.

We all have that aunt or grandma that questions why you are still single which is an instant mood killer. You can't prevent them from asking prying questions, like when my Grandma asked me if I was "into the boy thing right now are not." But we can control how we react to those questions. So instead of getting upset tell the about something else positive and great going on in your life.
Ex. Well I don't have a man in my life but I just got promoted at my job!

#5 Keep things in perspective.

While sometimes you may feel like the only single person left in the world you have to keep in mind that despite what Facebook may tell you, you're not. Chances are you're probably to young and amazing to be worrying about spinsterhood right now. So instead of focusing on how depressing your love life is, work to make you the best you can be.

And remember you have to love yourself before anyone can even have a chance at loving you so use the holiday season for self-improvement rather than self-loathing. Happy holidays!



As Always, Stay Classy
XOXO

Hayley Kiah

The Perfect Man

I was recently asked what my ideal man was. Obviously it would be Ryan Gosling (duh) but in reality I don't really have much of an idea. I know I want him to be smart and funny but that's about as far as my list goes. Going out into the dating world with no idea what you are looking for is like going shopping without any idea of what you are looking for. Most of the time you make purchases you never would have wanted to if you had planned out your shopping trip with what you actually needed or wanted.

Right now as far as guys go I keep buying that spurge item that you don't really want or need but seemed cool at the time but you end up throwing away soon. If you don't know what you want in a man how do you  find one that's a good  fit for you. I guess their is luck or chance but I've never been one to rely on the odds.

Because of this revelation I've decided to describe (using celebs and fictional characters of course) my perfect man so that maybe I'll have a clearer idea of what is important to me and what I'm looking for.

First of all my perfect man would look like Ryan Gosling ideally but for myself physical attributes often don't have much of a bearing. I have dated/liked guys of different races, heights, hair colors, eye colors, whatever. The only consistent thing for me is that I generally like guys that are thinner and have good hair but the rest is free game.

As far as personality goes I need a guy that is funny. He has to make me laugh on a daily basis, not a difficult thing to do. I'm imagining my perfect man's humor to be like Johnny Depp's, a little quirky and off color. Not the obvious knee slapping humor like Jim Carey.

He has to be kind and loving imagine Noah from The Notebook (Ryan is going to be referenced a lot I think!). He loved Allie all the way till the end and was so patient and gentle with her.

He has to be loyal like Peeta was to Katniss. No matter how much she hurt him Peeta was always looking out for Katniss's best interest. He would do anything for her. If Peeta was a real person he would definitely be my ideal man. I know he's not as firery as Gale but I think he has the long lasting qualities.

He has to be intelligent and driven, yet have a regard for morals at the same time. This maybe an obscure reference so I apologize but I want a guy like Alan Shore in Boston Legal. He was a witty, charming and extremely intelligent lawyer. But when it came down to it he always stood by his moral code and I respect that a lot.

He has to have a goofy, childish side. I want a guy that isn't afraid to be immature. Like he does magic tricks or juggles or likes to do 1,000 piece puzzles with his little brother. This doesn't really match any celebrity I can think of but it's just somethings that have really made me like some other guys.

The last thing is optional but would be a definite plus. I want a guy that is artistic whether that be he is a writer or an artist or a musician their is just something about that creative flare that draws you in.

So what makes up your ideal man or do you already have your ideal man? Lucky for you that already do!

Welcome to the Fabulous Friend Zone

So we all know what this is going to be about; the dark abyss that is the friend zone. Once one is thrown in they rarely are ever able to come back out. We've all probably been put in the friend zone at some point and we've all probably put people in the friend zone. I just thought I would share a couple of my theories with you all.

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Theory #1 It is nearly impossible to come out of the friend zone.


So we all have those friends that we just love to death that may be of the opposite sex. Sometimes those friends start to like you as more than friends. Lord knows that I have tried to make this work. I have friends that I love to be with and do things with but I just don't think it can work if there is no sexual attraction.

You just can't force it. I tried my best with some guy friends and it just didn't work because you can't and it will just end up causing you both a lot of trouble.

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Theory #2 Romance movies make us feel bad when they shouldn't.

I feel like in every romantic movie there is a dorky best friend that is desperately in love with the beautiful leading girl. In the end she realizes her best friend was the perfect guy all along. This is so misleading because most of the time our best friend are really just that our friends. 

We don't have to feel bad that we aren't attracted to them! It took me a while to figure that one out. I always felt terrible that my guy friends were great people but "not good enough" for me. 

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Theory #3 There is a short window for romantic possibilities.


This is something that makes dating difficult but I think is really true. There is a window of time that someone you meet can be a romantic possibility. But once you get to know them to well it crosses into the friend zone and it probably can't come back out.

This is kid of a catch-22 because for me at least I like to know people well before I date them. But then you run the risk of becoming to close with them that you can't see them as a romantic possibility.

I guess in the end though if it's the right person you will know it inside and you won't have to worry about all this friend zone jazz. But for those that have been put into the "friend zone" just know that it's probably not anything wrong with you!

What are your guys thoughts on the "friend zone"?

My Future Husband (He just doesn't know it!)

Warning: Please realize before you read this that I am in fact a total creep. BUT that I won't actually go stalk this man. Most of my creeping is for my own entertainment and yours. Enjoy!


So in my TV Production class we were watching videos of examples of different types of reporting styles.  It was love at first sight. The reporter for ABC in Arizona is going to be my future husband. He is gorgeous and so funny.

My future hubby!

Since this guy is going to be my husband I needed to know a little about him. So obviously I googled him name and up popped his Facebook page! Which I then throughly creeped. I also followed him on twitter FYI.

This is what I discovered. He is a second degree black belt, scuba certified, enjoys deep sea fishing, hiking, and I'm sure all sorts of other adventures. He really does seem like a super cool perfect man. If only he knew that I existed.

But never fear I have a plan!! One of my friends happens to have friends at the college this guys brother goes too. I know this is a stretch but we think that we can go there, befriend his brother and hopefully meet my future hubby. Then when he meets me he will realize we are perfect together and propose immediately.

Well in my dreams. But hey what's the fun in being single without a little fantasy! Chances are I will probably get over this man soon and completely forget about my obsession but for now I'm going to just enjoy the euphoria of a crush.

Cute Cashier Making My Day

This weekend my friends and I made a trip to the health food store about 30 minutes away. One of my besties is on a special diet where she can only eat certain types of sugars so we had to help her get stocked up!

In case you all were not aware health food stores are prime places to meet cute boys that may be slightly hipster or at least healthy. Plus all the stuff provides tons of opportunities to get a cute guys opinion on if that mineral water is really better than tap.

While we were checking out my friend and I were discussing this unusual chocolate flavor, Chile Cherry Dark Chocolate, and whether or not it would actually be yummy. The moderately cute, in a skinny hipster sort of way, cashier overheard us and said he'd give us one for free if we would eat it.

Yum!!

If you were offered free chocolate you cannot tell me you wouldn't jump all over that and just be giddy! And it was a huge expensive chocolate bar!! Which was delicious by the way. Kind of spicy but sweet at the same time.

Since this cashier gave me free chocolate and I'm a single girl it was immediately decided that he must have been in love with me. (My best friend Matt denies that this would be possible since we only had about 15-35 seconds of interaction.) BUT even on the chocolates packaging it says "give to someone you love." And on top of that there is a love poem inside.

Clearly this cashier knew all of that and knew I would read into immensely, which is why he gave me the chocolate in the first place. It was his subtle way of saying, "We are definitely soul mates now come back around the register and I will romantically dip you.

Ok, reality check, that's probably not what he meant at all. In fact he was probably supposed to give out a free chocolate ever certain number of customers. But I like to pretend it was me that was so special. I'll probably never see this cute cashier again but if I do you better believe I'm making a move!!

Keep Calm Poster

Made just for all my single girls. Especially Holly since it was her suggestion. :)

As Always, Stay Classy

XOXO

Hayley

Keep Calm, You're Just Single

So if you follow me on twitter, if you don't you should @Classy_In_KC, you may have seen me have a minor freak out yesterday. It was a rough day for some reason. But here's the basic gist of what went down.

There's a very pleasant boy in one of my classes that looks about my age. We got out of class early so my day was going great. As I was chatting with this boy on my way out of the building he said something about his wife.... Yes I heard him correctly, wife.

What I was doing yesterday.

Now I know what you're thinking. You think that I must have had a major crush on this boy and finding out he's flipping married ruined it for me. But that wasn't even it. He's nice but I don't particularly want to date him. It's just that he's exactly my age and he's MARRIED!!

I'm no where near marriage, hell I don't even have a boyfriend to consider being married too! The best I got at this point is my one of my best friends that says we'll get married if we're both single at 29. He's adorable and awesome by the way but really 9 years is a long time.

So after this all went down I sort of panicked. I flipped out to my friends (one of which got married at 17... oops) about how dumb that was. Why would you want to be married right now, we're kids for heavens sake. We don't even have real jobs or houses or pay our own car insurance how could we be married.

After I was told to take deep breathes and calm the heck down by my friends I was ok.

I guess it's just scary because just over 6 months ago I had my future completely planned out. I knew exactly who I was going to marry and when and the everything else about it. Now I'm going out into the world without any sort of plan. My greatest fear is that I won't find someone that I could realistically want to be with forever and ever. It's a pretty scary thought.

But I just have to take a step back and remember I'm only 20 years old for heavens sake! And what works for others (getting married young) may not be right for me. That's ok!

Someday I will look back on this with my charming and handsome husband and laugh at how silly I was. But until then I'll just take deep breathes and blog about it to you all. :)


As Always, Stay Classy
XOXO


Hayley

Dear Heart, Love Your Head

I have a question for you all. Why do our hormones continue to tell us we like someone even after we are 90% sure there is no chance of a relationship? I blame this on my hormones because surely my brain knows better than to set me up for failure. But my heart it doesn't care it only wants what it wants.

The worst dilemma to be in is liking someone, they know that you like them, yet they don't really do anything about it. You KNOW that this obviously means nothing is going to happen between you too.

Believing in this

Yet for some reason you still cling to that small hope that maybe they really "aren't ready for a serious relationship right now." (This is still doubtful.)

Is it that we crave love and affection SOOOO much that we will figuratively throw our heart out into moving traffic in the hope that we will make it to the other side and be in love with someone that loves us back?

Well what I have to say to this is that sometimes our heart needs a good smack from our head. Stop wasting your time and feelings over someone that you know it won't ever happen with. Even if something were to happen the fact that they are falling all over themselves to be with you now shows that they are clearly not worth your time.

I really really badly need to take my own advice. Hopefully I will take it soon before I end up getting hurt sending out all my feelings and getting none in return.

I strongly believe that when you find "The One" they will also have that innate sense that you too are extremely special to their lives. If the person you are craving isn't sensing that, despite your attempts, cut your loses and move on to bigger things!

So I will leave you with a lovely Journey song that describes this situation moderately well:

As Always, Stay Classy
XOXO


Hayley

What's wrong with single?

Hey everyone! Be sure to check out my guest post I did today on Classic+Glam for Halle!

So Valentines Day is here and I am celebrating it sans boyfriend. But I'm not upset about it! In fact I'm thrilled that I get to celebrate it with the people I really love!

But ever since it turned New Years it seems like everyone has been talking about the Day of Love and how they are spending it single or with their special someone. It seems to be there is a huge negative connotation around being single.

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What I want to know is, what's so wrong with single?? Why is it that we feel like failures because we don't have significant others just yet?

Well I am here to tell you that it is ok to be single! (It's ok to be in a relationship too.)

We are taught our whole lives that we are the best at everything. In every sport we get a trophy or rewarded just for participating. Our parents tell us we can be whatever we want to be. The problem is someone we grow up and this "coddling" stops. But we don't know how to deal with it.

Not being the best or the same or having a boyfriend doesn't mean we have failed. It's just life and we shouldn't feel like we have done anything wrong because of it.

They make single look fab!

So this Valentines Day, if you are spending it single then live it up and celebrate all those special people you love like your family and friends or maybe your puppy.

When you stop looking for love it will find you so start living your life without worrying about your relationship status!

Where are you soulmate??

This was a post I wrote back when I was a freshman in high school. Man, did I have deep thoughts on life at 15. Sadly though not much has really changed! 

There are over 7 billion people in the world as of the last census.

         Out of those 7 billion people how are we expected to find that one individual that completes us?                                 And on top of that at the right time. Sometimes it feels like we all just settle because we're sick of searching. Not that the person we settled for is bad its just not everything it could be.

        But how absurd is this whole true love thing! I when what if my soul mate is like in some obscure African tribe that has never heard of the United States? Then that just means I'm screwed! I worry that I'm either being to picky and I need to just settle with what I have or that I'm not being picky enough and I'm going to miss the love of my life.                           


Its ridiculously challenging.

I believe he's out there. Somewhere. I just don't know if I'll ever find him and that uncertainty is incredibly unsettling.

Sigh.... life.

Hope you enjoyed this little insight into my head!


As Always, Keep it Classy






XOXO
Classy

He Loves Me, He loves Me Not.

We've all been there. Trying to figure out if a guy likes you or not. Desperately checking your Facebook messages to see if he possibly sent you a message asking for your number. Well ok I'll admit if he doesn't know you exist yet he probably doesn't like you. But I put this question up to my guy friends and here are the dirty dets on how to tell if he's interested. 

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Despite the common misconception that boys only talk about sports and sex they do sometimes talk about their feelings. Probably not to the extent that girls do but they may drop a "dude I'm into this girl" during their guy talk. This means that not only can you interrogate his friends (probably shouldn't actually do that) but also that whatever things other guys are saying will also be heard by them.

As it was put by my boy bestie, "We know about your past and what you did."So if you are wanting a guy to like you but you're hooking up with someone else they will know about it!

But here are some classic signs that girls misinterpret:

He looked at me- Just because I guys smiles at you or glances your way does not mean he is smitten with you. He could simply be trying to be polite or be noticing that you a raccoon eye going on. So don't read into it to much!

He texts you- This is a tricky one because you don't know what is normal for them. What's important to look for is when he texts you, how often. Do you notice him texting all the time when you're around him? Then he's probably just bored and wants to chat with you or is a player looking to get some. 

He messaged you on Facebook- This is where we start going into booty call land. Sure it's great that he messages you frequently but has he ever wrote on your wall or down any publicly viewable?? If not he's trying to keep his options open and doesn't want other girls to see. If he's messaging you, just how many other girls is he talking to??

These are mistakes that I myself and I'm sure many other girls and probably guys have made. We can't let our fantasy that they like us skew the reality that they may not. That's when we get our feelings hurt. If it seems like he's not that into you stop wasting your time and be with someone that is dying to be with you. 

As Always, Keep it Classy

XOXO

Classy

Best Buy Guy

If you follow my twitter @Classy_In_KC I'm sure you will have noticed a plethora of tweets about this famously man that has been aptly named #BestBuyGuy. In most recent news I have discovered Best Buy Guy's real name. It is Matt:)

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Now many girls, myself included would usually let a casual run in with an attractive man go. They'd be flattered that he seemed interested but never really pursue anything. And we wonder why we can't find good guys... It's because we're apathetic about pursuing them!!

While my methods (going back and telling the manager how fabulous his service was to discover his name) may borderline on creepy it's better than me sitting at home and wondering what if or continually checking the craigslist misconnections to see if maybe by some miracle he posted about you. Though that may make him kind of creepy if he uses craiglist...

I myself did check out the misconnections. None about me but some other interesting ones none the less. Here's an exerpt: Entitled You can Pick your Friends or your Nose (charming title)

As my coworker and I were leaving the restaurant today after lunch, I commented on how busy you were today, and you replied that it was better than boredom, preferable to standing in the corner twiddling your thumbs or picking your nose. I tossed that old rhyme at you with a twist at the end. You laughed and said you needed that today. Would love to see those big beautiful eyes of yours again.

And that there is exactly why I am counting myself lucky that Best Buy Guy didn't post an ad on craigslist.

What bothers me though is that women always think the man must ask for your number, call/text you first, and ask you out. Yeah good luck getting him to be confident enough to do all of those things yet not be a cocky jerk.

Sometimes we just have to screw convention and go after what it is that WE WANT. If you really liked that guy why not pursue something? Sure he may deny you but if he does so what. But what if he really liked you to but was just way to scared to ask for your number because he assumed that you were to pretty or must have had a boyfriend.

Doors will open for you only if you turn the damn knob every once in a while!!

That is my word of advice to you all and also my justification for why I will be frequenting Best Buy till I see this guy again. I'll be sure to tell you guys how that one goes.


As Always, Keep it Classy


XOXO
Classy

Who are you??

In a period of less than four months I have become a girl nearly unrecognizable from the one I was during my relationship. It makes me wonder about how much we let other people define who we are especially in relationships.

Sometimes in relationships the changes that happen are inevitable and normal. You may grow up a bit or cut down on partying or drinking for someone you care about. But when you start to change your appearance, opinions, and lifestyle is it going to far??

I used to think I knew exactly who I was: I am [insert guy]'s girlfriend.

When we define ourselves by who we are with it gets so complicated when we have to stand alone. I found that I HATED being defined by someone else. I want to be my own person I want to be myself alone not myself and someone else.

After I got out of my 3 year relationship I started deciding who I wanted to be and realized I wanted things I never would have "been allowed" to have in my relationship. I got a tattoo, I changed my hair color, I had fun for once!!

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It's scary sometimes seeing how much I have changed but I realized that it's all in my hands now and if I don't like who I'm becoming I can change it! No problem!!

The biggest question we're all asking ourselves is who am I? Is this really who I want to be?? If it is then terrific, if not then change whatever it is that you're not comfortable with.

So I will leave you with one parting note: Who are you?



Stay Classy Lovelies,

XOXO Classy