Summer Loving: Is it worth the effort?

College has left me in a very complicated situation as to where I can say I live. Depending on the month I can be in Southwest MO, Kansas City, or Buenos Aires, Argentina. And after I graduate next spring I could quite literally be anywhere in the world. So if I do meet someone that seems interesting, where do I tell them I'm living?

The problem with being in a million different places for odd amounts of time is that you have enough time to meet people but not enough to create a substainial relationship that would be worth trying to have through the distance. Maybe my problem is that I'm not meeting people that are worth attempting the distance for but I'm not sure.

So when you're single and home from college is a summer romance really worth it? Well that really depends on a lot of things but here are some questions to ask yourself to help figure it out.

Source

How did you meet this person?

If you met them in a bar at 1AM the chances of this relationship really going places are slim. Even if you are to start developing a relationship outside of an alcohol filled setting, the problem is you both will be questioning the others worth because of your circumstances and a serious relationship may never develop.

If you met during something a little more wholesome or doing something you have a shared interest in. IE: You're both lifeguards at Whitewater for the summer or you workout at the same time every week. Basically you have some kind of common ground to build upon then you're off to a good start.

How much do you like them?

This may seem like a silly question but it's one to consider. If you don't immediately answer A WHOLE LOT then your future is probably questionable. While this may not always be true, I'm a strong believer in first impressions and I think if you aren't intially crazy about a person, you never really will be.

If you do like them A WHOLE LOT then you have to really start thinking about if they are liking you a whole lot also. If they are then great! Get to work on building a stronger relationship for when you're not able to be together.

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Is a relationship realistic?

This one more applies to situations of extreme distance, such as international love. Even if you loved this person, would it be possible for you to be together? Would you be able to visit or see each other. This would be for example if you feel in love with someone from say China and they just graduated college and have to go home. They may not be able to get a visa to permantly stay with you or you just may not be able to afford to see them. If your relationship has no foreseeable light at the end of the tunnel it will probably just end in heartbreak.

What are both of your expectations and goals?

For myself, a guy that planned on staying in the Midwest probably just wouldn't be a good fit because I plan on living abroad. But for other people a guy that planned on travel extensively may be an awful fit! It's important to know where you both are going in life. Also do you know what they are expecting out of this relationship? Are they looking for a long term commitment or not? If you have different expectations this can quickly turn into a train wreck.

The most important thing to consider with your potential summer romance or with any budding relationship is to make sure you are on the same page. As awkward as it maybe, you need to find out what they want and make sure that it is what you want also. Plenty of summer romances have turned into great, lasting relationships. It really just depends on the effort you are willing to put in.


As Always, Stay Classy
XOXO

Hayley

You won't find love in someone's pants.

While it may seem silly, and you might be saying, "Hayley, I'm not stupid I know I won't find love in some persons pants." But secretly you think that you might. Just admit it. Virtually all sexually active women (maybe men also) like to hope to at least some degree that they will actually fall in love with someone they are hooking up with. Knowing that this is wrong isn't anything new to you. But I'm going to give you a new take on why it won't work, other than sex is immoral.

So we're all clear on the fact that sex doesn't equal love, right? If you're not, feel free to refresh yourself on the topic here. Now that we've gotten that all sorted out let's talk about why you can't possibly find love that way but why it's also not necessarily a bad thing.

On second thought, let's check in their pants...

What are your intentions? If you're just looking for a good time there is nothing wrong with casual sex or hooking up outside of a relationship. But if you are looking for a significant other or to fall in love, even secretly deep down inside, just don't do it. You won't find love.

The problem isn't so much that you're cheapening yourself or that you've become dirty somehow by having sex, but rather that you've already put it out there that a relationship is not what you want and they have too.

Even saying the whole, "I never do this!" line won't help you prove that you want a relationship. By having sex or engaging in sexual acts with them you made them think that you are on the same page of not wanting anything more. It's not because they're a douche (though they definitely can be!) it's the fact that you mislead them about what you were looking for.

You also get back, what you give out. When you make yourself seem like an easy, fun time that's all that you will get back in return. There is nothing more annoying than a girl that gets upset when a guy doesn't actually like her AFTER she's already had sex with him. Of course he doesn't want you to be his girlfriend! You didn't act like girlfriend material!! And frankly, you don't want that guy to be your boyfriend either if that's the way he was acting.

This isn't to say that you can't have sex for fun. You totally can, just don't expect them to want anything serious with you afterwards. Just don't have sex (at least at first) with people that you may want a relationship with in the future.

The moral of the story is that there is nothing wrong with sex, just make sure that you put out the same vibes that you are wanting to get back.



As always, stay classy
Hayley

Is the internet killing romance?

One of women's all time favorite things to do is talk about how they wish romance was still like it was in old timey movies. Famous lines from movies like, It's a Wonderful Life, "you want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down," have us starstruck by the sweet, romanticism of it all. While part of the problem is that movies aren't real life, a larger and more solvable problem is that our technological generation is killing the romance.

It's a Wonderful Life

Men don't get a chance to tell us sweet lines like that because often times we have made our decision on what we think of them way before we actually give them a chance. Can our access to virtually all the information we could ever want about a person be the reason there is no more romance in our love lives? I think the answer is yes, for several reasons.

First of all, we no longer "get to know someone" in any kind of traditional sense. With a few quick taps on our keyboard we can know everything about a person, their birthday, favorite color, great aunt, the picture of them in their hometown newspaper when they won a ribbon for participation in a wrestling tournament when they were 8 years old, everything.

Spend a little less time doing this...

The problem with this is that when we learn about someone through a computer or phone screen we miss out on all the best stuff. We don't get to hear the funny story that goes along with newspaper clipping. We don't get to hear why their past relationship didn't work out from them. An electronic device can't show you the way they snort when they recall a good memory or the pain still present when talking about a family pet that passed. You miss out on so much.

Not only do you miss out learning more about them you either fall in love with or dislike someone based on their online profile. Someone can seem perfect for you through the lens of what they choice to post and write about themselves, but it can't show you the real them. It can also cause you to not give them a chance because you think you know something about them, without letting them offer an explanation.

Those are just the major issues that come up. We haven't even talked about accidentally bringing up a personal fact they haven't told you yet or the fact that you miss out on all the excitement.

... More time doing this.

So the point that knowledge is power. It's great to know a little something about someone before you devote time to them. But at what cost? The next time you meet a new guy or gal instead of heading straight to their facebook to analyze every girl that's posted on their wall in the past year or try and decide if that's their sister or an ex-girlfriend, stop and think about what you're doing.

Part of the fun of dating is the discovery. Finding out bit by bit about someone new. Romance lies in the mystery of not knowing all the facts. Googling someone is like starting a new book at the ending, which you just should never do. So unless you are one of those horrible people that read the endings of books first, resist the urge to google and let the romance thrive.


As always, stay classy
XOXO

Hayley

Let's Talk About Sex

Let's talk about sex baby. Let's talk about you and me. Let's talk about all the good things and 

the bad things that may be.

Being in a relatively progressive college sometimes makes me forget about how little sex was talked about before I was in college. The good, the bad, I didn't know much besides that it was evil. As the gym teacher in Mean Girls puts it, "if you have sex you WILL get pregnant and you WILL die." While they were exaggerating a bit for humor that's pretty similar to the sex education I received in High School and that a lot of other people did to. Not only did this damage me in not understanding some very important fundamentals of life but it took away my choice to make good decisions about my sex life. 

What we're taught.

So sex is bad. We got it. But just because that's what we were taught it doesn't mean that we aren't still having sex. We're just having it uninformed about how to do it safely or at the right time. I am understand the firm belief that abstinence only training has not only ignored how to have safe sex but has made it so shameful to actually discuss that no one wants to talk about issues like choosing the right persons to have sex with, when to do it, how to do, etc. 

The argument is always that if you aren't mature enough to discuss it you shouldn't be having it. But sometimes it's not an issue of maturity. I'm a pretty mature person for my age but the words penis and vagina make me cringe (just cringed typing that). It's not something that you should be able to say in public, or so my school system taught me. The discuss of masturbation makes me blush redder than a tomato, and that's discussing it with girls, don't even get me started on talking about it with boys. 

By being taught that our bodies and sexual urges are something we should be ashamed of we never get to the point where we are comfortable enough to discuss it with our sexual partners, maybe ever. But we still have sex with people and then end up confused when things happen that we don't understand. Maybe your partner has trouble getting turned on or get off but there is NO WAY IN HELL you could ever talk with them about it much less someone else to solve the problem. 

Though a lot of these things make me cringe I would still say I'm a pretty liberal person when it comes to talking about sex. I have a tendency to make a lot of people uncomfortable by simply saying what I'm thinking in mixed company (aka with boys and girls). This openness is something I learned on my own. In high school I was literally told that touching boys at all made you a slut. 

Even though I still have a little ways to go in leaving the stigmas about sexuality behind, I think that not being "afraid" of talking about sex has helped me make more responsible choices and have a more gratifying sex life. 

Sex happens. It's how we all go here so why are we so freaked out by it. Teaching people that abstinence is the only way creates many more problems than it fixes. You should be able to have the choice to have sex or wait and do it with whoever you want. We should be telling people how to do it the right way not shaming them for doing it all. 

As always, stay classy

XOXO

Hayley Kiah 

Can your friends ruin your love life?

If you're like most people in college your best friends are probably a big part of your life. Without your family nearby they become your family away from home. You share everything from clothes and shoes to advice and stories they know pretty much every detail of your life.

You love your friends, but does your relationship with them stop you from having real romantic relationships? Maybe they do. Approaching a girl is scary and immidating. Imagine having to approach a huge group of girls that are all sizing you up and judging your every move. The impenetrable block that are your girlfriends are a surefire way for a guy to move on to a girl that seems more approachable.

The Spice Girls

My girl group consists of 6 females with wildly different personalities but very strong opinions. We've been called the Cheeta Girls, Mean Girls, but the most popular is the Spice Girls. We're know for being inseparable, which isn't a good thing for any guy that wants to talk to us. 

So how do you get guys to approach you without giving up your girl time? 

• Branch Out: I know you love your friends and want to spend every waking moment with them, but try to do somethings on your own. Go to an event on campus solo or join a new club. You'll make some new friends, seem ultra-confident, and be much easier for guys to want to talk to.

• Make Your Own Decisions: Even though you want run everything you do or say by your girls resist the urge and go with your gut. When you have to second guess everything or have your friends approve every text you send, you lose a little bit of the fun.

• Be Independent: Obviously you're going to still go out with your friends but try going to the bathroom on your own, get a new drink by yourself, or dance solo. They're not kidding when they say confidence is sexy. No guy will be able to take his eyes off you when they see that you're not attached to another girl. 

Inseparable where ever we go!

Just because you want to land a guy doesn't mean you should give up your relationship with your girlfriends. But try to act a little more like you're in college and not 7th grade and you'll seem like some one a guy (hopefully a worthwhile guy) would want to take to. 

As always, stay classy

XOXO

Hayley

Is honesty really the best policy?

“People who are brutally honest get more satisfaction out of the brutality than out of the honesty.”

 Richard J. Needham

Imagine a world where people really say what they mean. I mean really say the complete and honest truth. That sounds great right? No one lies to anyone. But sometimes it seems like the truth can hurt more than a lie. Brutal honesty isn't exactly a walk in the park.

One of the most confusing parts about girls or human beings in general is that we have no idea what we want. We say we want the truth but really we only want the sugar coating. The truth is a lot like a bowl of trail mix. We buy it but all you really want is the m&ms.

So I guess the problem is that we have different styles of communicating and how we want that truth given to us. For myself just straight up telling me the truth that you don't like me or think I'm terrible at my job is going to make me start crying. But for others that may be the best way to give them feedback.

Think about how this applies to relationships when the two people don't understand how each other communicate and how many pointless fights are started over it. The "does this make me look fat" question is a perfect example. While some women may prefer honesty others just want you to tell them they look nice and aren't looking for a real answer.

While I would never condone lying or dishonesty (that's probably my biggest pet peeve ever) I don't know that you always have to tell the whole brutal truth because most of the time I'd rather just not know that the reason you broke up with me was because you thought you had a chance with my even hotter sister. Isn't just tell me things aren't working out. I know it's not quite the truth but it still gets the same point across.

So ladies or gentleman for my occasional male reader think about how you want to be talked to. Do you prefer to have things sugar coated or is the harsh truth better for you? Do you prefer to be told bad things or even good things through writing on face to face discussion? You don't have to sit your partner down and demand they talk to you that way but you can subtly hint that when they are really harsh with you it hurts your feelings or that you don't appreciate them trying to soften bad news.

Whatever the case you need to find out your communication style and the communication style of the person you are with if you want to have a solid, open relationship with less hurt feeling. But above all remember that being dishonest is never the answer just find the right way to present the truth.




As always, stay classy
XOXO

Hayley

The Deal on the DTR: Defining the Relationship

There is perhaps nothing more awkward that the in-between stage of a relationship where you know you like someone and that there is some sort of thing going on but you are unsure of the other persons feelings or commitment to it. In college it's generally that we're hooking up but is there more to it than that? But it can also simply be that you are going on dates or spending a lot of time together and unsure of what it all means.

Simply put, it's awkward and confusing and puts you in a super weird position when trying to describe your relationship. Most of us just settle on the word thing, which is about as un-descriptive as it gets.

So the real question we all want answered is how do you know or find out if your thing is leading towards something. The first step to honestly evaluate the type of relationship you currently are having.

• Are you both initiating conversation and hanging out/dates? 
• How much have you guys gotten to actually know each other? 
• Can you hang out in a non-sexual situation? Do you even want to?
• Have they confirmed having feelings for you or at least an interest in you and your life?

If the answer to a lot of these questions is no then I'm sorry to say it sounds like you are on a one sided relationship without getting any love in return. Not to say that a relationship isn't possible but don't lie to yourself and end up getting hurt. If you are unsure then you're probably not being honest with yourself, think again.

If you answered yes to most of these questions then it sure sounds like there is something more to this than just the friendship or sexual aspect. If this is your case then terrific! But what the heck do you do now?

This is where we get to the gritty nasty stuff. The dreaded DTR or Defining the Relationship conversation. The first step though is to not refer to it as the DTR that will only shut the other person down from having a serious conversation if they think it's a "relationship talk."

There are a few basic things you should find out or at least establish. Are you exclusive? You don't have to be someones girlfriend/boyfriend to claim exclusivity in your relationship. Setting that boundary is the first step. 

Second, what are they looking for? Are they leaving to join the Peace Corp in a month and not wanting anything serious or are they wanting to get settled down in the near future? These are important things to establish so that you can see if you want the same things. 

Third, don't push the label thing, at first. So you can both agree that you like spending time together and don't want to be seeing other people. That doesn't mean that you have to declare yourself boyfriend and girlfriend or partners or whatever you want to call it. Take a chill pill and let whatever happens develop. If you are exclusively seeing each other already not being labeled isn't hurting you that much. The exception to this is if it gets to be an absurdly long amount of time and the other person just isn't willing to put a title on it for whatever reason. When you are sure that you are a couple and they just won't say it give an ultimatum and chances are they'll change their mind. 

The main thing you need to remember is that this is your relationship, no one elses. So don't worry about giving other people the labels they want to hear. Are you happy with your situation? If so then don't worry about anyone else! 

In any case, good luck and I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for.

As always, stay classy

Hayley

XOXO

Lady in the Streets, Freak in the Sheets

Lady in the streets, freak in the sheets. 

You could say that this phrase accurately describes what men want and what a lot of young women aspire to be. A quick search on twitter will reveal this exact philosophy being tweeted and retweeted endless times on a daily basis. It's a saying that has been engrained in our culture but greatly contradicts everything else our society tells us. 

Women by societies standards are not supposed to admit to having any kind of sexuality but at the same time are supposed to be able to turn on the sex-kitten when with a man. It creates an intense double standard for young women where we are told to be sexual "freaks" but conceal it from society. 

Heaven forbid anyone finds out that you are a "freak in the sheets" because you're required to be a lady! Then you're a slut that is unacceptable for dating. 

This double standard is not only applied in how we are supposed to act but in how we are supposed to dress. Wearing anything low cut or tight makes you easy and a whore. But if you dress to conservatively you're prude, up-tight, or stuck up.

Essentially we can't win. You can't be the lady and the freak without being somehow wrong. This idea that is imposed on women is not only silly but damaging. It creates a standard that we can never fit and lends way to objectifying women even more. That to be ideal you have to be a sexual goddess and a perfect lady at the same time.

How about we go back to simply being ourselves. I am neither a perfect lady or a sexual freak, I'm Hayley and I'm defined by a lot of things but not some gimicky phrase.


Everyone, especially women need to stop reenforcing these double standards and negative messages. Start defining yourself by your words and your actions not what you think men want you to be.


As always, stay classy
XOXO

Hayley

Say NO to Comfort Zones

So many of us spend our entire life in our comfort zone, clinging to our habits and friends as security blankets. How many of you could claim that you are adventurous, but really mean that occasionally you try a new coffee shop or make a pinterest board of the places you'd like to go. 

This year I challenge you to get uncomfortable in the best way possible. Push yourself to do things you would never imagine you could do, talk to people you would have never spoken to before. At first leaving the known can be a bit intimidating but I can't explain how enriched your life will be after you take that first step. 

Before college I was content with my small hometown and limited world experience. Now I can't wait for all the adventures I'm going to go on. My plans for after graduation are to live abroad for a few years something I never imagined myself ever doing before. 

My real inspiration for this life change and this post have been all the incredible people I have met being an RA (resident assistant) at my school. You don't realize the number of stereotypes that you have let fill your head until you face them head on. Unfortunately, due to my lack of exposure to other cultures I believed some negative stereotypes to be true. 

When I was told I was getting residents from Saudi Arabia my first thought was that's the country with the worst record for women's rights, they aren't going to listen to me. I'll admit I was a bit wary of them. But when I went to introduce myself to them I received the warmest welcome I think I've ever gotten. Not only were they respectful and polite they were so genuinely kind! 

I do realize that making generalizations about a whole culture isn't good but I can say that I have yet to meet a Saudi Arabian that wasn't extremely polite and sweet to me, wanting nothing in return but your friendship also. 

I've since become what I would consider close friends with several of these guys (the only women that come to school out the country come with their husbands so they typically live off campus) and have encouraged my friends, despite their reservations to give them a chance also. To their surprise they loved them also!

Clearly this is just one isolated example and you may not have the same kind of cultural opportunities around you. But the point is that you can't let your opinions or your desired level of un-comfortability hold you back. You have no idea what you are missing out on till you take a chance and see. 

I challenge you to this time not just say you want to do that or are going to be more adventurous but to go out and do it right now! No matter how big or small your adventure I'm sure you will get something worth your while out of it. 

As always, stay classy

Hayley

PS. Let me know what kinds of adventures you go on!

Forget Old Fashioned Dating Rules

So I know I previously mentioned the guy I will call Frat Boy if you didn't catch that post you can read it here. Well last week he was on spring break and I know both of us have been super busy and we haven't had much time to talk because he's not a fan of texting (he thinks it's a bad way to have conversations which is kind of admirable of him).

Because of this we had not made plans to hang out again. This lead me to sitting there debating well should I just ask him or is that not right?

I put up the question to some of my twitter followers who had mixed signals. They said if he wants to talk to you he will. But then again he rarely texts anyone and he knows I'm really busy. Plus he's initiated  our last couple of hang outs.

Being the modern minded girl that I am I decided to go ahead and do the dreaded contacting him first. But what's the worst that can happen?

Well I'm glad that I did because he was thrilled to make plans to hang out but just wasn't sure if my schedule would allow since he knows that I do just about everything there is to do on campus.

Sadly we have to wait till next week because neither of our schedules line up this week. He has to attend like a million concerts for his classes so I think he is excused.

My point is though that old fashion dating rules should just go out the window. If you want something go after it see what happens. Sometimes when you take a chance it may just turn out right!!

What are your all policies on contacting the guy first?

You are... respecting me??

The funniest thing happened last night. A guy friend that had "booty called" me a couple weeks ago, with a 1 AM come hang out at our frat house (which I didn't), actually invited me over a couple days in advance and at a reasonable time.

He said to come over Thursday to watch some movies with him and some of his friends. Of course being the skeptic I am I assume this can only mean there are going to be some drunk guys hanging out that need a girl to feel less dorky. And surely "watching a movie" was code for something else because boys always have other motives.

Sing it sister!

To my pleasant surprise it wasn't like that at all. There was no heavy drinking involved. I came over at 9 PM, which is pretty early in college terms. We had a nice time watching a movie with him and his best friend and roommate.

He even said it was a "date night." His words not mine, but believe me I had to practically close my mouth from hanging open. His best friends girlfriend was supposed to come and it would be like a couples night. Which to my knowledge is the first time he'd ever referred to me in anyway as a date.

 It was a really lovely time overall. We had some good conversation and he was actually interested in what I had to say. Then I went home. No frat boy pressuring for anything more.  

But the sad part of all this is that I'm shocked. I'm shocked that he actually was interested in just talking and hanging out with me not getting anything else. It has become so uncommon anymore for girls to get respect from boys that we can't believe our eyes when it is happening.

Respect is something that should come as a given that we shouldn't have to demand or search for. Yet that's often not the case.

So thank you Frat Boy for respecting me and actually caring about ME. It made for a very lovely evening and taught me a good lesson that I shouldn't expect or take anything less than that kind of treatment.

My Quarter Life Crisis

I went through a minor (well still kind of going through) quarter life crisis because I'm a little young to be in my mind life just yet. It resulted in my best friend and I bursting into tears for absolutely no reason and then just laughing at how silly we both looked.

To understand why I'm having this meltdown I have to tell you a little about myself. I am one of the least spontaneous people you will ever meet. I mean deciding to get ice cream on a whim is probably about as crazy as I get.

Tumblr

Today we had this guest speaker aptly named Othello who was incredible and has really made me think about my life and what I'm doing with it. He basically challenged me to rethink everything I am doing. I realized that I HATE the fact that I don't do things when I want to do them.

I have never just jumped in my car and driven some where unplanned. This lead to me temporarily wanting to runaway from school to the beach. I would have had it not been for the fact that I have so many incredible friends I can't leave behind.

I thought about this all day. Am I doing things because I want to do them or because I think it's what I'm supposed to do. Sometimes the burden of being responsibly and a good student becomes heavy! Can you blame me for wanting to not be a perfectionist sometimes?

But after talking with some wise friends I realized that the only way I can have the freedom to do whatever I want is if I work hard now. Someday when I have a career (aka more money than a college student) I'll be able to go on trips. Hopefully with someone special.

So right now having to endure school and internships (none of which are bad just a lot of work) but I can look forward to how much brighter of a future this will lead me too!!

I really hope I'm not the only one that has experienced this crisis before!

Does NO still mean NO?

It seems to be that there has been a break down of what NO means to everyone. Especially when it comes to relationship or people wanting to be in a relationship with someone. With all of our fancy new technology getting in contact with people has become almost to easy.    for those people you don't want to talk too. Let me give you some examples.

In my case it was a guy that I was talking to then decided I didn't have any romantic interest in. I let him know this and thought that our communication would just end there. I was very very wrong. The last text I sent him was in January saying that "Yes, I would like you to stop talking to me." He since then has still texts me to this day with no answer. Whether it be hey, hi, hello, why aren't you talking to me, this guy just isn't getting that NO means NO!!

But this phenomena is not happening just to me. Below are some screen shots that were sent to the @WhyYouHateGuys twitter account of guys that also couldn't take a hint. Enjoy.

Via @WhyYouHateGuys

Via @WhyYouHateGuys

Not only are these desperate attempts annoying and pathetic they show a break down of what no means. Which is caused by a lack of respect on both sides. Respect for themselves and respect for the girl's wishes to not talk to this person. 

Now hang on because we are about to get serious here. While these unwanted messages may be fun to read they represent a much more frightening problem. If a guy can't understand that you don't want to talk to him what else does he have a problem understanding?

I think that if someone can't respect you saying NO I don't want to talk to you they probably will also have a hard time listening to NO I don't want to go into that room with you and no I don't want to do anything with you. 

Not to say that these guys are or will ever cross the boundary into physically violating someone but they are willing to do it verbally.

Source

According to Human Rights Watch rape has increased significantly over the past years in the United States and I think it has a direct correlation with that fact that people no longer respect boundaries. 

So I'm not saying that every guy that can't take a hint is a rapist but they do show an obvious lack of respect for you and your feelings so be wary of what else they won't respect. 

I guess to answer the question does NO still mean NO the answer really is no. It doesn't any more. But we can change that by surrounding ourselves with people that respect us enough to respect NO. 

PS. Check out his Twitter every Tuesday for funny things like this or search the hash tag #TrashYourExTuesday

My Wonderful Weekend

It seemed like this weekend went by soooo quickly. Because of President's Day I didn't have school today so I got to spend Saturday, Sunday, AND Monday with my family. I had such a great time with them I hate having to leave.

The best part about family is that you don't really have to be doing anything to have fun.

Here's a little recap for you all!!

Saturday: Sister and I went shopping and bought new make up at Sephora. When we got home Aub dolled up Emy, our older sister with the new make up we got.

Here she is with her make up finished. She was so excited. 

Her is Emy with her baby sisters!

And here is Aubrey and I with our matching VS shirts. 

Overall it was a successful trip home. I wish I could have spent more time with my little brother but I am thankful for all the fun I got to have with my sisters. I love them more than anything.

Hope your weekend was as awesome as mine!!

As Always, Stay Classy

XOXO

Hayley

Dear Heart, Love Your Head

I have a question for you all. Why do our hormones continue to tell us we like someone even after we are 90% sure there is no chance of a relationship? I blame this on my hormones because surely my brain knows better than to set me up for failure. But my heart it doesn't care it only wants what it wants.

The worst dilemma to be in is liking someone, they know that you like them, yet they don't really do anything about it. You KNOW that this obviously means nothing is going to happen between you too.

Believing in this

Yet for some reason you still cling to that small hope that maybe they really "aren't ready for a serious relationship right now." (This is still doubtful.)

Is it that we crave love and affection SOOOO much that we will figuratively throw our heart out into moving traffic in the hope that we will make it to the other side and be in love with someone that loves us back?

Well what I have to say to this is that sometimes our heart needs a good smack from our head. Stop wasting your time and feelings over someone that you know it won't ever happen with. Even if something were to happen the fact that they are falling all over themselves to be with you now shows that they are clearly not worth your time.

I really really badly need to take my own advice. Hopefully I will take it soon before I end up getting hurt sending out all my feelings and getting none in return.

I strongly believe that when you find "The One" they will also have that innate sense that you too are extremely special to their lives. If the person you are craving isn't sensing that, despite your attempts, cut your loses and move on to bigger things!

So I will leave you with a lovely Journey song that describes this situation moderately well:

As Always, Stay Classy
XOXO


Hayley

What's wrong with single?

Hey everyone! Be sure to check out my guest post I did today on Classic+Glam for Halle!

So Valentines Day is here and I am celebrating it sans boyfriend. But I'm not upset about it! In fact I'm thrilled that I get to celebrate it with the people I really love!

But ever since it turned New Years it seems like everyone has been talking about the Day of Love and how they are spending it single or with their special someone. It seems to be there is a huge negative connotation around being single.

Source

What I want to know is, what's so wrong with single?? Why is it that we feel like failures because we don't have significant others just yet?

Well I am here to tell you that it is ok to be single! (It's ok to be in a relationship too.)

We are taught our whole lives that we are the best at everything. In every sport we get a trophy or rewarded just for participating. Our parents tell us we can be whatever we want to be. The problem is someone we grow up and this "coddling" stops. But we don't know how to deal with it.

Not being the best or the same or having a boyfriend doesn't mean we have failed. It's just life and we shouldn't feel like we have done anything wrong because of it.

They make single look fab!

So this Valentines Day, if you are spending it single then live it up and celebrate all those special people you love like your family and friends or maybe your puppy.

When you stop looking for love it will find you so start living your life without worrying about your relationship status!

God's Mysterious Ways

Ok guys. If you follow my twitter account, first of all I would like to apologize for last nights inappropriate tweets. If you don't follow me you should @Classy_In_KC. But anyways I had a pretty wild weekend and a unexpectedly crazy night.

I won't go into all the details of what exactly transpired but I will tell you that I had some fun with my girls. And boys became involved. At which point we decided to go with these boys back to their place. I realize now that, that was a terrible idea!! But needless to stay I wasn't thinking straight.

My Personal Favorite

Anyway we ended up unable to find these boys room and got locked in a freezing cold stairwell that we couldn't get out of. We were trapped in this stairwell without cellphones like idiots.

Luckily though just at that moment our best friend and a boy that we absolutely adore (because he's so sweet!) showed up and took us home.

Looking back on that situation this morning I realize getting trapped in the stairwell was really a blessing in disguise. I can't imagine that anything good could have come from going to those boy's room. In fact it would have been a terrible situation to be in because neither of us were thinking in our right mind.

I think God trapped us in that stairwell to protect us from much worse things that could have happened. And he blessed us with a wonderful best friend that was looking out for us.

So thank you big man upstairs for looking out for us. We owe you for everyday you have given us.


As Always, Stay Classy
XOXO


Hayley

What you DIDN'T do wrong.

I recently had a conversation about how upset girls get when a guy breaks up with them or doesn't want to see them anymore. The question that comes to mind is always "What did I do wrong?" or "How could I have fixed this?"

Most often though, at least in his opinion, they did absolutely nothing wrong. He says that the saying it's not you, it's me, can apply in a lot of cases. 

To Cute!!!

When we first met someone we instantly make a judgement about them whether we want to or not. We decide if we like the way they look or the way they talk or laugh. From there we begin to break everything else down. The way they hold their fork. The way they try to open packages by pulling them apart instead of just tearing them open. (These are real reasons he has been annoyed by girls!)

We can't help but find all the little things that just bug us. We do this with everyone regardless of if it's someone we are romantically interested in or not something about everyone annoys you. 

The problem is most of the time people aren't going to tell you what these annoyances are. They will tell you it's just bad timing, they're to busy, they just don't think your personalities are compatible. When really it may of just been some weird thing that annoyed the other person and it was nothing you could really do about it. 

So I guess when the time comes that someone just doesn't feel you like you are feeling them you shouldn't be asking yourself. What was it that I did wrong? Was it the text I sent at 6AM that said my life would be incomplete without you? Or was it the fact that I call his mom everyday without him know? 

Ok I was just kidding about those. But chances are there is no need to beat yourself up about what is wrong with you because it is probably something wrong with HIM. So just let it go and find someone that may have 10 things they hate that you do but 100 things they love that make them stay. 

As Always, Stay Classy

XOXO

Hayley

It's Raining Men

Why is it that as you soon as you've decided to stop looking and give up on boys that they suddenly start a feeding frenzy? At our loneliest most single moments boys don't even notice that you exist. But when you have a guy on your mind that is actually interested in you, suddenly you become the most amazing girl in the world.

Source

I feel like content-ness with your current situation is like blood in the water to boys. They smell it on you and they want a piece of it.

For instance, a boy that I liked very much about 3 or 4 months ago is now wanting to hang out with me! 3 or 4 months ago I would have been absolutely ecstatic to hang out with this boy. But now as he tells me I need to come to his room because he's already in bed naked, (YES, he actually said that) I am debating whether or not I want to be that girl.

Honestly I feel like if you didn't want me then, then why the hell should I want you now? I'm still the same girl I was but I don't want to be anyones seconds, thirds, fourths, or whatever I would be.

It must be this newfound confidence that has become the powerful trigger to attract all these men to me.  But as I would encourage ever girl that's single out there to do: Don't be with someone that won't care about you in all times, the good and the bad.

You need to have respect for yourself first if you want any guy to respect you. And I truly doubt that boy anixously awaiting my arrive in the nude has zero respect for me. Which is why I politely declined and laughed my head off with my roommates about it.

Love yourself first girls!


As Always, Stay Classy
XOXO


Classy

The Vow: Our Current Obsession

So it's no secret that literally every girl on the planet is obsessing over The Vow. Even my room mate that is the biggest tomboy ever wants to watch it!! This thrills me since she always shakes her head at me when I watch The Notebook and Pride and Prejudice over and over and over....

It's amazing that women are already OBSESSED with this movie even though we haven't even seen it yet! Previous Notebook star Rachel McAdams is plays the wife of Channing Tatum that loses her memory. So then he has to be the most fabulous husband in the world and make her fall back in love with him.

Surely this isn't something we haven't heard before. Heck, in The Notebook Noah has to make Allie fall in love with him everyday again. But what is that makes this movie so different then the mountains of other romances we are bombarded with everyday.

Channing Tatum has been in other movies so why is The Vow the magic movie???

This is the only conclusion I can come too. They have excellent timing. It's right before Valentines Day and all of us single women are looking for a way to fill our craving for romance and what better way then a desperately sad, hopelessly romantic love story?

All I can say is bravo whoever planned this because you have got us hooked! How many of you guys plan on watching The Vow?? My girls and I are doing it as our Valentines Day outing!!


As Always, Stay Classy
XOXO


Classy