Friday, June 15, 2012

Officially a military girlfriend.

So R (the boy) told me tonight that he's going to have to do his basic training in August. He's in the Air Guard which to my understanding is like the Air Force Reserve I think. Honestly, I'd never heard of it before he told me about it.

I'm not sure how exactly I feel other than slightly overwhelmed. It's becoming real now. I mean I knew he was in the military but that seemed to be a very abstract concept to me before and now it's becoming real, with real dates and him really leaving. I feel like I've just gotten him and even though August may seem far off it's still to soon.

This whole long distance thing is new to me as is the military thing. It's not that any of it is an issue for me because I completely believe he is worth dealing with any distance or restrictions but it's all kind of scary and I think it's just because I don't know anything.

I don't even know what questions to ask or what it is that I don't know. He has grown up in a military family whereas I have grown up with my only military experience being history class and a class field trip to a military museum.

It's never a position I ever thought I would be in because honestly I've always said I wasn't into the "military thing." (Sorry if you're reading this R, please don't take that in a bad way!) It just seemed like you were adding extract challenges to your relationship that could be avoided. Why not pick a guy that you know will always be in one place and will always be doing boring stuff. It seemed simple.

The problem is that you don't "pick a guy." You can't help who you end up falling for and what type of  life style they are going to choose. You get lucky enough to find someone you think you just can't live without and then you take on anything else about their lives and make it work because they're worth waiting for.

I guess what scares me is that I don't have control of the situation. All my life I have know exactly where I will be, exactly what I will be doing, and exactly where I will be going. R comes from a completely different life of spontaneity and adventuring into the unknown.

I'm a little nervous but I'm also kind of excited. I think that it will be good for me to learn to let go of my ridged life style and embrace the unknown.

Crazy how blogging about something can make you feel so much better about it! 

Are any of my readers military girlfriends or wives that have dealt with the same experience?

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Closing the Lid

This will be my final post concerning my ex-boyfriend and I hope maybe it will help me finally close the lid on this relationship that has been haunting me the past 10 months or so.

As I've mentioned previously never for a moment have I doubted my decision to leave. It has left me more happy than I ever imagined and I could be on my own. And it has also lead me to my current relationship with a boy I couldn't imagine being without now.

But it has also left me scarred in ways I never realized I could be. These scars have helped me to see more clearly what it is that I really want with my life and with my next relationship.

Myself and both of my beautiful sisters.

I don't think my current boyfriend or probably anyone will be able to fully understand how special it is to me that my sister is back in my life. My biggest problem with my ex, among many other things was that he hated my sister passionately. I promised myself that the next guy would at least be indifferent and that's all I was really hoping for.

But my new boy wants to get to know my sister and welcomes her into our relationship. In fact we had a group conversation on the phone two nights ago (how sweet is that!). It honestly makes me want to cry to think how wonderful it is.

Though issues with my sister weren't the only damages from my past relationship. I find myself surprised when my boyfriend doesn't care that my best friend is a boy or that I have a lot of guy friends that I like to hang out with. He trusts me. It's strange. I'm not used to having someone just trust that I will do the right thing, which I almost always will.

I've been so used to keeping secrets. So many secrets it was difficult to keep up. Lying about going out to see my sister, lying about how late I stayed out with my friends, or lying about how much money I spent on shoes.

It's so refreshing to not have to lie anymore. It is like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. My relationship is no longer a burden to bear. It's enjoyable!

Now I think I have pretty legitimate reasons to hate my ex-boyfriend for all of the emotional abuse and control he held over me. But truly I am done with being mad. I'm done feeling sorry for him.

I think I am finally ready to let it all go. Let go of the anger, the fear, sympathy, the regret. I'm ready to start new and fresh and I don't think I could have picked any better of a person to start new with!

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Monday Man-Off: True Blood

This weeks Monday Man-Off is between the True Blood leading men that Sookie is currently caught up in a love triangle with. Her dilemia is understandable considering both men are absolutely gorgeous and not just because they're vampires but because they are just hot guys in general. Our battle is between the wise and careful Bill Compton (Stephen Moyer) and the cruel but oh so delicious Eric Northman (Alexander Skarsgard).

Let's start with Bill, Sookies original and true love. He is wise, but not beyond his years because he is actually really old. Stephen Moyer who plays Bill is in real life a handsome and charming man. He has that certain something about him that makes you feel like you can trust him and just let him take care of you.

His opponent Eric plays the not so nice character. He's really quite a jerk and does a lot of really bad things to Sookie until he loses his memory and suddenly is incredibly sweet. Alexander Skarsgard who plays Eric is Swedish, super tall, and definitely not hard to look at. I think the European thing is really working for him with me.

So if you are a True Blood fan and understand the show I would say that I vote for Bill because he is stable and the overall better choice for Sookie (played by Anna Paquin). But in real life and if we go purely off of physical appearance Eric wins hands down. He looks like a fun guy. A gorgeous I would stand there gaping at him if I saw him in real life gorgeous so he's my winner for this Monday.

Who would you pick??

Do soul mates exist?

Do you believe in soul mates? That there is one person on the whole earth that is your exact match and perfect counter balance? It's a pretty difficult concept to imagine that in a world of over 7 billion people and growing their is one person created specifically for you.

I'm a romantic but even I have lived most of my life under the impression that there are multiple "loves of your life." When you meet one of these people they will make you happy but you will never be any the wiser if there is a person that can possibly make you even happier out there. That's how it is possible to love multiple people in your lifetime and on unfortunate occasions at the same time.

But recently I have came tot the belief that my theories on soul mates have been wrong. I think there can be one person, one soul that is your perfect match. My opinion has changed because I personally think I have some how located my match or rather he found me (that's what he would say).

 I couldn't tell you how I know honestly, except that you can feel it, deep inside of you that they are perfectly made for you and that everything you have done in your life has been leading to this one person.

As I've gotten older, though I'm definitely not old by any means, I've come to realize that what is most important to a relationship is your values and what really makes you at your core. It's no that you both have the same favorite band or that you do the same sport, it's that what defines you is the same as what defines them.

For myself my family probably my biggest priority. When you date me you also "date" my siblings. With my current boyfriend he feels the exact same way about his family and he has actually gotten to know my sister also. I can't even begin to explain how much that means to me. But that's for another post to expain.

The moral of my story is that I have a renewed faith in relationships and in soul mates.

I know many of my followers are in a long term relationships or married and I'm curious if you think that you are with your soulmate?

But not to leave my single girls out, do you think finding your soul mate is possible?