Friday, June 15, 2012

Officially a military girlfriend.

So R (the boy) told me tonight that he's going to have to do his basic training in August. He's in the Air Guard which to my understanding is like the Air Force Reserve I think. Honestly, I'd never heard of it before he told me about it.

I'm not sure how exactly I feel other than slightly overwhelmed. It's becoming real now. I mean I knew he was in the military but that seemed to be a very abstract concept to me before and now it's becoming real, with real dates and him really leaving. I feel like I've just gotten him and even though August may seem far off it's still to soon.

This whole long distance thing is new to me as is the military thing. It's not that any of it is an issue for me because I completely believe he is worth dealing with any distance or restrictions but it's all kind of scary and I think it's just because I don't know anything.

I don't even know what questions to ask or what it is that I don't know. He has grown up in a military family whereas I have grown up with my only military experience being history class and a class field trip to a military museum.

It's never a position I ever thought I would be in because honestly I've always said I wasn't into the "military thing." (Sorry if you're reading this R, please don't take that in a bad way!) It just seemed like you were adding extract challenges to your relationship that could be avoided. Why not pick a guy that you know will always be in one place and will always be doing boring stuff. It seemed simple.

The problem is that you don't "pick a guy." You can't help who you end up falling for and what type of  life style they are going to choose. You get lucky enough to find someone you think you just can't live without and then you take on anything else about their lives and make it work because they're worth waiting for.

I guess what scares me is that I don't have control of the situation. All my life I have know exactly where I will be, exactly what I will be doing, and exactly where I will be going. R comes from a completely different life of spontaneity and adventuring into the unknown.

I'm a little nervous but I'm also kind of excited. I think that it will be good for me to learn to let go of my ridged life style and embrace the unknown.

Crazy how blogging about something can make you feel so much better about it! 

Are any of my readers military girlfriends or wives that have dealt with the same experience?


  1. My best friend's fiancé is a few months from leaving the Marine Corps reserves. He was in basic training half of our freshman year and in Iraq half of our sophomore year. It was really hard on her when he was in Iraq. Different things helped her cope. Having friends who listened (me), having friends with boyfriends in the military (my Big), and talking to a counselor.

  2. It's tough doll. I'm not going to lie. The upside is that there is that old saying "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" and it's true. The bad news is you can't really expect him to be able to stay in contact with you like usual so there is a lot of time spent staring at the phone and trying to stay distracted. Homecomings are awesome, goodbyes are not. The best thing you can do to help yourself out is keep in mind that he will always come back, even if it's not for what seems like forever and you don't get to talk to him while he is gone. He WILL be back. And he will have missed you too ;)