Saturday, April 28, 2012

Color blind in love?

To kind of explain what I'm trying to get at with this post I'm going to start with a recent experience some of my friends and I have. We all go to school in Kansas City which is obviously a very diverse area with many racial backgrounds. 

One evening one of my girlfriends and myself were going out to a bar to watch a sports game. Two of our guy friends were also going out with us. Only when we arrived at Buffalo Wild Wings and I noticed the odd looks from some of the other guys similar in age to us did it occur to my girlfriend and I that we were two white girls with these two very black guys. 

We didn't even really notice it before because they are just guys that we are friends with not our "black" friends. But to the other people at BWW's it probably looked like we were couples. But what is wrong with that?!

Even though we live in an age where we have the freedom to choose to date or marry anyone of whatever race we want (not gender... yet) it doesn't mean people don't still have some issues with it. 

We are divided very distinctly into girls that like black guys or girls that only like white guys. I hate that. I hate that I am put into a category of who I like or what I should like. 

Is it so wrong to like a guy for their personality whether they be Black, White, Indian, Arab, Mexican, Asian whatever!! 

I think we need to stop dividing ourselves into those  girls only date white guys or black guys. Or those boys only date white girls into we only date people that treat us with respect. We only date people that make us feel good about ourselves. We only date people that make us laugh. There are SO MANY other factors that go into a person other than their race. 

The movie Beauty Shop comes to mind. It's one of mine and my girls favorite movies. Not only because Queen Latifa is DIVA but because it preaches the message that it's ok to date someone because you like them even if you are white and they are black. It's about the heart not the skin. 

Probably the best thing my sixth grade teacher ever told me was "everyone's the same if you turn them inside out." 

So that's my little soap box for the day. What are your guys opinions? Would you or have you ever dated someone of a different race than your own?

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

How to break-up: Words of Advice

Not all relationship work. In fact many many relationships fail before you find the one that will last forever. If I can say anything positive about my past relationship it's that while we may not have been terrific at the whole relationship thing we were great at the break up. But to be fair there were some more actual positive things about it just not enough. 

Breaking up isn't easy and never will be easy but I think there are definitely ways to make a break up go more smoothly and thus not hurt yourself or the other person anymore that you have too. 

First of all make sure it's the decision you want to make and you are ready to make it. Trying to leave a relationship that you are not quite done with makes for a messy, nasty ending that hurts you way more than necessary. For myself personally I knew in the back of my mind I was going to leave my boyfriend for almost a year before I was finally ready to let our relationship go. 

Second, once you make the break you have to cut off all contact. NO EXCEPTIONS. After I left my ex we decided to "still be friends" and ended up talking more the next two days then we did in our relationship. There is no way you can grieve a relationship and move on if you are still talking with them and updating yourself on their life. 

That means no calling, texting, facebooking, tweeting, IM'ing, skyping, smoke signaling whatever. You have to eliminate them from your life at least until all the major emotions are gone. 

Third, resist the urge to bad mouth and put all your dirty laundry out there for the world. This should go without saying but we all know people that do it and have probably done it ourselves. Updated our status about how terrible they were or how crushed we are. This is not only immature but it just gives your ex reason to think you still care and a reason to talk to you. In the long run keeping all this drama to yourself will help you heal much better. 

While no break up will ever be easy or painless not making it harder on yourself can make it much easier to get over the relationship and move on with your life. 

Terribly Tired Tuesday

So I may have stayed up till 2:30 last night finishing Mockingjay. While at the time it was a great idea now I'm really regretting it because I'm super sleepy. But I know that some people didn't like the ending but I personally loved it. If the epilogue could be a book I would read it over and over. I don't need a plot just a happy couple to entertain me.

But because of my major sleepiness I don't have the brain power to think up a witty post so I am just going to give you all some adorable pictures of sleeping animals because they make me happy and it's what I wish I was doing right now.

Enjoy loves :)

You can't tell me you didn't just squeak out loud at their adorability. 

Monday, April 23, 2012

Finally read the Hunger Games!!

I usually hate to be a band wagoner but when people say a book is good I usually can't resist giving it a try. I know I'm a little bit late on the whole Hunger Games frenzy but let me say that I am now fully on board!!

So I may have committed a cardinal sin of mine when it comes to books turned into movies. I watched the movie FIRST. Gasp, I know it was wrong of me but I wanted to see it over Easter and I left my Kindle at school so I couldn't read it... and it was basically just that I was to lazy and wanted to see if it was worth my time (which it totally was).

Funny little story about the movie though. For those of you that follow me on Twitter you may have seen my little rant about how the filming made myself and my mother throw up!! We both get motion sickness really easier. Especially in movies, like I can't handle Paranormal Activity or anything filmed like that.

But about twenty minutes into the movie I had to run to the restroom and loose my dinner with the stall door wide open and everyone that was using the restroom from a movie just getting over watching me. It was lovely. Besides that the movie was terrific!

So here is my most important findings after reading the book and watching the movies. At first I was team Gale because Liam Hemsworth is SOOOOO gorgeous.

After reading the books though I am seriously so in love with Peeta. He is so incredible and kind and wonderful and perfect and now so adorable in the movie. I want to marry Peeta and I can't understand why Katniss doesn't want to either! Hopefully she will come to her senses soon.

I know you all told me before but I want to hear again are you Team Gale or Team Peeta?

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Dang you Mr. Darcy!!

If you guys haven't caught on yet I am a little obsessed with Pride and Prejudice, namely Mr. Darcy. I am seriously going to name my children after the characters. Bennet, Darcy, is Pemberly a cute name? Clearly I have issues but that's not what this is about.

I think Mr. Darcy's character has give us horribly skewed ideas about romantic relationship and men (what's new with Hollywood?). The thing is that he isn't made out to be an absolutely perfect man like most movies, that's why it's so deceptive.

Initially Mr. Darcy is a pretentious, pompous jerk. I love him but I'll admit it he thought he was much to good for Elizabeth's crazy family. I feel like her family is just like mine. We are so crazy!! But then he turns out to be a really great guy that actually does a lot of nice things for the Bennets.

While this is absolutely lovely to the romantic story (thanks Jane Austen :)) it isn't very realistic at all.

The problem is that we are lead to believe that guys that are jerks are really going to be fabulously romantic and tell us that they love-- love-- love us. But really they are probably just jerks and we shouldn't waste our time.

So while I love Mr. Darcy so dearly I have to admit to myself that he is a fictional character that is loosely based on a guy that loved Jane Austen (not me sadly). So even though I say I'm on a pursuit for my own Mr. Darcy the truth is that I should really be on a pursuit for my own Mr. Right.

Single ladies: don't let your image of what your perfect guy should be cloud your vision from seeing when he is right in front of you.

Monday, April 16, 2012

The Power of Puppy Love

I apologize all for the brief hiatus from blogging. School has been so crazy lately!! I promise to try and blog at LEAST every other day hoping everyday but I don't want to make promises I can't keep. Hope you all enjoy. I look forward to catching up with your lives!

We've all heard the expression puppy love and most of us blow it off as being nothing but kids infatuation. But what if puppy love is more real than we all make it out to be?

During our pre-teens and teens (weird that I'm not a teen anymore!) we are going through crazy hormonal changes and our emotions are at an all time high. Technically speaking this seems like we should have an emotional capacity to love much more (chemical) than at any other point in our lives.

I remember in middle school the crushes I had and the feelings I felt were like nothing I have ever experienced. When a boy didn't like me it was nearly the end of the world. Whereas now it hurts I cry and I'm done with it. Maybe I've grown up and learned how to handle it better I'm not sure.

What brought all this up is the fact that I recently ran into my long time grade school crush after not seeing him since graduation. This boy is exactly the type of guy you would fall in love with forever in school. Attractive, super athletic, charming. He was captain of the football team, student body president, the works. I have volumes of diaries devoted to this boy and countless hours spent wishing he would like me.

Seeing him and finding out that he, like myself, is also single made a flood of emotions just like I was back in 6th grade when I found out he didn't like the pretty girl in our class. Maybe I'm crazy but I feel like my puppy love for this boy has literally lasted me for the past 15 years.

For your guys amusement I also professed my undying crush to this boy and described the outfit he had been wearing the first day of school kindergarten. Luckily he thought it was really flattering and not creepy.

But do you all think grade school crushes are in some ways the real deal or are they just a bunch of silly emotions?

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Can you be too pretty? My take on Samantha Brick's article.

If you haven't heard of Samantha Brick yet I'll give you a short run down of what the deal is. She is a columnist for the Daily Mail a UK online publication. Yesterday she wrote an article about how difficult it is for her to be so beautiful.

Samantha Brick

Now granted this woman is very attractive, not like super model gorgeous though in my opinion, that is a pretty bold thing to say!! You can read her article here. But she has been met with A LOT of backlash for saying that she thinks she is discriminated against by women for being beautiful.

While I won't really go into whether or not it was right of her to write the article (personally I think she's probably over generalizing things). But it brings up the question of can you be to pretty??

Samantha dressed down.

I think that women do have a tendency to dislike other women for being beautiful. I know I do it more than I should but I often find out that these girls are so much more than just good looks. They're actually beautiful people on the inside to that deserve a chance.

So even though I may initially judge I won't let that stop me from getting to know you and possibly really liking you. Mrs. Brick says that even her close friends dislike her for being beautiful but I think that can't possibly be true if they are real friends. My best friend is one of the most beautiful women I have ever met inside and out and it just makes me proud to get to be her friend.

Even though your looks can make women initially judge you, your personality should make them look past that and like you for who you are. Clearly Mrs. Brick is either lacking in real friends or else she is doing something else wrong that makes her ugly on the inside.

What do you all think about pretty girls getting the cold shoulder from other women?

Forget Old Fashioned Dating Rules

So I know I previously mentioned the guy I will call Frat Boy if you didn't catch that post you can read it here. Well last week he was on spring break and I know both of us have been super busy and we haven't had much time to talk because he's not a fan of texting (he thinks it's a bad way to have conversations which is kind of admirable of him).

Because of this we had not made plans to hang out again. This lead me to sitting there debating well should I just ask him or is that not right?

I put up the question to some of my twitter followers who had mixed signals. They said if he wants to talk to you he will. But then again he rarely texts anyone and he knows I'm really busy. Plus he's initiated  our last couple of hang outs.

Being the modern minded girl that I am I decided to go ahead and do the dreaded contacting him first. But what's the worst that can happen?

Well I'm glad that I did because he was thrilled to make plans to hang out but just wasn't sure if my schedule would allow since he knows that I do just about everything there is to do on campus.

Sadly we have to wait till next week because neither of our schedules line up this week. He has to attend like a million concerts for his classes so I think he is excused.

My point is though that old fashion dating rules should just go out the window. If you want something go after it see what happens. Sometimes when you take a chance it may just turn out right!!

What are your all policies on contacting the guy first?

Monday, April 2, 2012

Spring Fling Link Up is here!!

The Spring Fling link up is here! It's super simple and I'm so excited to read all of your spring related posts. All you have to do is link up a spring related post below. It is not mandatory that you follow our blogs but you should definitely check all of these lovely ladies and their incredible blogs out!

Plus enter into the awesome give-a-way that has tons (look at all of them!) of great prizes.

What a great way to start off spring!!

Note: When you link up on one of our blogs your link will show up on all of them.