Jerks Will Be Jerks

The other day I posted about how pleasantly surprised I was when a boy actually treated me with respect and was considerate to me. You can read about it here. Of course all of you lovely readers had some comments to make about it and one really caught my attention and inspired this post:

Candy Cakes @ Single Girl Will Eat Free had this to say:

Yay! It's always nice to be pleasantly surprised. But it begs the question: What we were doing hanging out or "talking" to a guy that we are surprised knows how to behave like a gentleman in the first place? Lol. No judgement doll, I'm still guilty of it ALL the TIME.

That's a really fantastic question! Why are we even giving these guys the time of day?

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I think I found part of the answer while talking with one of my Twitter pen pals @TrophyTrainee (she's a great girl to follow!). She said that girls like guys that are jerks because we want to be the one that changes them. I guess it's just our nurturing nature. We want to be the person to change them and make them better.

Just like how our mom's always were able to "fix" everything we want to help fix them. The thing is though that people are who they are and that can't change, at least not by force.

A person will change in a relationship because they are growing with you not because you are trying to make them someone they are not. So maybe instead of looking for guys we can make perfect we should be dating the guys that ARE perfect for us. Or at least aren't jerks.

So the moral is what we all already knew. Jerks will always be jerks. Sometimes we just need a little reminder that it is not our job or responsibility to change them!

Welcome to the Fabulous Friend Zone

So we all know what this is going to be about; the dark abyss that is the friend zone. Once one is thrown in they rarely are ever able to come back out. We've all probably been put in the friend zone at some point and we've all probably put people in the friend zone. I just thought I would share a couple of my theories with you all.

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Theory #1 It is nearly impossible to come out of the friend zone.


So we all have those friends that we just love to death that may be of the opposite sex. Sometimes those friends start to like you as more than friends. Lord knows that I have tried to make this work. I have friends that I love to be with and do things with but I just don't think it can work if there is no sexual attraction.

You just can't force it. I tried my best with some guy friends and it just didn't work because you can't and it will just end up causing you both a lot of trouble.

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Theory #2 Romance movies make us feel bad when they shouldn't.

I feel like in every romantic movie there is a dorky best friend that is desperately in love with the beautiful leading girl. In the end she realizes her best friend was the perfect guy all along. This is so misleading because most of the time our best friend are really just that our friends. 

We don't have to feel bad that we aren't attracted to them! It took me a while to figure that one out. I always felt terrible that my guy friends were great people but "not good enough" for me. 

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Theory #3 There is a short window for romantic possibilities.


This is something that makes dating difficult but I think is really true. There is a window of time that someone you meet can be a romantic possibility. But once you get to know them to well it crosses into the friend zone and it probably can't come back out.

This is kid of a catch-22 because for me at least I like to know people well before I date them. But then you run the risk of becoming to close with them that you can't see them as a romantic possibility.

I guess in the end though if it's the right person you will know it inside and you won't have to worry about all this friend zone jazz. But for those that have been put into the "friend zone" just know that it's probably not anything wrong with you!

What are your guys thoughts on the "friend zone"?

Monday Man-Off: Hunger Games

Last weeks winner was Orlando Bloom in our Lord of the Rings Man-Off!

In honor of the Hunger Games opening I decided to do this weeks Man-Off between the leading men
Josh Hutcherson (Peeta) and Liam Hemsworth (Gale). I actually have yet to read the books so I don't know if knowing their characters would change my mind. But I definitely have some opinions based on their looks!!

So lets start with Gale the character played by Liam Hemsworth. I heard a rumor that he's engaged to his girlfriend Miley Cyrus which is sad for us single women but congratulations for them if it's true.

He is so gorgeous in that manly kind of way. But he still has a soft soulful look in his eyes like he wants to have a deep conversation about life with you. I mean maybe he's a dummy but I like to imagine he's thoughtful and deep.

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Then we have Peeta played by Josh Hutcherson. He obviously has a little more of a youthful look than Liam but that's probably just because he is younger. Josh looks like the type of guy you would meet in a coffee shop reading a romance novel. Then you would be so taken by his romantic side that you would completely forget the fact that he's not ultra manly like Liam but soft and sweet. 

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Ok so I don't know either of the characters so my decision is based purely off of their looks and my imagined personalities. I would definitely say that Gale is the hottest I mean look at his shoulders. He makes me just want to hug him for hours. 

But on the other hand I think I usually go with the Peeta type more. The guy that is subtly attractive but has an incredible personality and is super thoughtful. 

It's tough but since this Man-Off is really just about hotness and not real life compatibility I have to go with Gale (Liam Hemsworth) as my winner.

Who do you pick? Do the books/characters change you opinion of who's hotter?

Sunshine Award!

Sorry guys that it has taken me a million years to do this award!! I got busy and totally forgot all about it. Though I would like to thank Halle over at Classic+Glam for nominating me and Jessica at Frikken Duckie for nominating me also. It truly is an honor.

Sunshine Award rules:

       1. Include the award’s logo in a post or on your blog. 

2. Answer 10 questions about yourself.

3. Nominate 10-12 other fabulous bloggers.  

 4. Link your nominees to the post and comment on their blogs, letting them know they have been nominated. 

5. Share the love and link the person who nominated you.

10 Sunshine Award Questions:

Favorite Color? Light Orange

Favorite animal? Horse

Favorite number? 7

Favorite non-alcoholic drink? Cran-Grape juice (I got through a jug a week!)

Prefer Facebook or Twitter? TWITTER!!!

My passion? Writing and ending sex trafficking

Prefer getting or giving presents? Both

Favorite pattern? Damask

Favorite day of the week? Saturday

Favorite flower? Peonies

Here are the people I want to award it too!

 Liz @ Liz's Lovely Life

Carlie @ Life... full of Stories

Brittney @ Brittney's Orr-dinary Life

Amanda @ Simple Girl,Simple Pleasures

Fashion Meets Food

Kenna @ The Bluths

Kara Jean @ Not a Couples Blog

Melissa @ So about what I said... 

Kelly @ Classy in Carolina

Ashley @ Life as I know it

I would also suggest checking out all of these blogs because they are fabulous ladies that I try my best to read daily!!

You are... respecting me??

The funniest thing happened last night. A guy friend that had "booty called" me a couple weeks ago, with a 1 AM come hang out at our frat house (which I didn't), actually invited me over a couple days in advance and at a reasonable time.

He said to come over Thursday to watch some movies with him and some of his friends. Of course being the skeptic I am I assume this can only mean there are going to be some drunk guys hanging out that need a girl to feel less dorky. And surely "watching a movie" was code for something else because boys always have other motives.

Sing it sister!

To my pleasant surprise it wasn't like that at all. There was no heavy drinking involved. I came over at 9 PM, which is pretty early in college terms. We had a nice time watching a movie with him and his best friend and roommate.

He even said it was a "date night." His words not mine, but believe me I had to practically close my mouth from hanging open. His best friends girlfriend was supposed to come and it would be like a couples night. Which to my knowledge is the first time he'd ever referred to me in anyway as a date.

 It was a really lovely time overall. We had some good conversation and he was actually interested in what I had to say. Then I went home. No frat boy pressuring for anything more.  

But the sad part of all this is that I'm shocked. I'm shocked that he actually was interested in just talking and hanging out with me not getting anything else. It has become so uncommon anymore for girls to get respect from boys that we can't believe our eyes when it is happening.

Respect is something that should come as a given that we shouldn't have to demand or search for. Yet that's often not the case.

So thank you Frat Boy for respecting me and actually caring about ME. It made for a very lovely evening and taught me a good lesson that I shouldn't expect or take anything less than that kind of treatment.

My Future Husband (He just doesn't know it!)

Warning: Please realize before you read this that I am in fact a total creep. BUT that I won't actually go stalk this man. Most of my creeping is for my own entertainment and yours. Enjoy!


So in my TV Production class we were watching videos of examples of different types of reporting styles.  It was love at first sight. The reporter for ABC in Arizona is going to be my future husband. He is gorgeous and so funny.

My future hubby!

Since this guy is going to be my husband I needed to know a little about him. So obviously I googled him name and up popped his Facebook page! Which I then throughly creeped. I also followed him on twitter FYI.

This is what I discovered. He is a second degree black belt, scuba certified, enjoys deep sea fishing, hiking, and I'm sure all sorts of other adventures. He really does seem like a super cool perfect man. If only he knew that I existed.

But never fear I have a plan!! One of my friends happens to have friends at the college this guys brother goes too. I know this is a stretch but we think that we can go there, befriend his brother and hopefully meet my future hubby. Then when he meets me he will realize we are perfect together and propose immediately.

Well in my dreams. But hey what's the fun in being single without a little fantasy! Chances are I will probably get over this man soon and completely forget about my obsession but for now I'm going to just enjoy the euphoria of a crush.

My Quarter Life Crisis

I went through a minor (well still kind of going through) quarter life crisis because I'm a little young to be in my mind life just yet. It resulted in my best friend and I bursting into tears for absolutely no reason and then just laughing at how silly we both looked.

To understand why I'm having this meltdown I have to tell you a little about myself. I am one of the least spontaneous people you will ever meet. I mean deciding to get ice cream on a whim is probably about as crazy as I get.

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Today we had this guest speaker aptly named Othello who was incredible and has really made me think about my life and what I'm doing with it. He basically challenged me to rethink everything I am doing. I realized that I HATE the fact that I don't do things when I want to do them.

I have never just jumped in my car and driven some where unplanned. This lead to me temporarily wanting to runaway from school to the beach. I would have had it not been for the fact that I have so many incredible friends I can't leave behind.

I thought about this all day. Am I doing things because I want to do them or because I think it's what I'm supposed to do. Sometimes the burden of being responsibly and a good student becomes heavy! Can you blame me for wanting to not be a perfectionist sometimes?

But after talking with some wise friends I realized that the only way I can have the freedom to do whatever I want is if I work hard now. Someday when I have a career (aka more money than a college student) I'll be able to go on trips. Hopefully with someone special.

So right now having to endure school and internships (none of which are bad just a lot of work) but I can look forward to how much brighter of a future this will lead me too!!

I really hope I'm not the only one that has experienced this crisis before!

Does NO still mean NO?

It seems to be that there has been a break down of what NO means to everyone. Especially when it comes to relationship or people wanting to be in a relationship with someone. With all of our fancy new technology getting in contact with people has become almost to easy.    for those people you don't want to talk too. Let me give you some examples.

In my case it was a guy that I was talking to then decided I didn't have any romantic interest in. I let him know this and thought that our communication would just end there. I was very very wrong. The last text I sent him was in January saying that "Yes, I would like you to stop talking to me." He since then has still texts me to this day with no answer. Whether it be hey, hi, hello, why aren't you talking to me, this guy just isn't getting that NO means NO!!

But this phenomena is not happening just to me. Below are some screen shots that were sent to the @WhyYouHateGuys twitter account of guys that also couldn't take a hint. Enjoy.

Via @WhyYouHateGuys

Via @WhyYouHateGuys

Not only are these desperate attempts annoying and pathetic they show a break down of what no means. Which is caused by a lack of respect on both sides. Respect for themselves and respect for the girl's wishes to not talk to this person. 

Now hang on because we are about to get serious here. While these unwanted messages may be fun to read they represent a much more frightening problem. If a guy can't understand that you don't want to talk to him what else does he have a problem understanding?

I think that if someone can't respect you saying NO I don't want to talk to you they probably will also have a hard time listening to NO I don't want to go into that room with you and no I don't want to do anything with you. 

Not to say that these guys are or will ever cross the boundary into physically violating someone but they are willing to do it verbally.

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According to Human Rights Watch rape has increased significantly over the past years in the United States and I think it has a direct correlation with that fact that people no longer respect boundaries. 

So I'm not saying that every guy that can't take a hint is a rapist but they do show an obvious lack of respect for you and your feelings so be wary of what else they won't respect. 

I guess to answer the question does NO still mean NO the answer really is no. It doesn't any more. But we can change that by surrounding ourselves with people that respect us enough to respect NO. 

PS. Check out his Twitter every Tuesday for funny things like this or search the hash tag #TrashYourExTuesday

Monday Man-Off: LOTR Style

For those of you that know what LOTR stands for we should be best friends. If you don't it stands for Lord of the Rings. Today's Monday Man-Off is featuring my inner turmoil between which of these two beautiful actors is more gorgeous. It's a toughie!!

Last weeks winner in the contest between Ryan Gosling and Bradley Cooper was no surprise Ryan!! I didn't even have to cheat and make him win.

So now for this weeks men!!!

Orlando Bloom VS. Viggo Mortensen 

Orlando Bloom:

First up Orlando, my teenage heart throb. I was so obsessed with him when I was younger. He has that youthful look about it that is just so yummy. No matter what role he is playing I adore this guy. 

Viggo Mortensen:

Viggo has always been one of my mothers favorites. he definitely has that rugged mountain man look to him. He's the type of guy that could pick you up and carry you to his cabin where you would live happily ever after. Ok maybe that's an exaggeration but I could totally see that happening. 

So who do you love more?? I truly cannot decide I love them both so much for different reasons. But I love all gorgeous men, surprising I know! 

Spring Fling: It's Like High School But Without the Rejection

Spring has sprung and that means that it is time for another link up! I am so excited to be participating in this Spring Fling. This is my very first link party!!!

Up until a few months ago I didn't have a clue what a link up party so if you haven't heard of them before this is the basic concept. On April 2nd have your spring related post ready and you will link it up to one of the link-up hosting blogs (you just have to link to one it shows up on all of them) and other people participating in the link up can check out your post and connect to your blog.

The purpose to help you get your blog out there and hopefully find some new blogs that you can love! Plus there will be some awesome give-aways going on that are definitely worth checking out. 

So grab a link-up button and post it on your blog to spread the word about our Spring Fling (Without the Rejection). The more blogs the merrier!!

Here's a list of the other lovely ladies participating:

Pineapple Lily
Feeding My Temple
Behind the Scenes
Brittney's Orr-dinary Life
Pish Posh Couture
Digging Deeper

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I hope you will join us!!

My Spunky Spring Break & Other Adventures

First of all I want to apologize for going totally MIA on you all. But no I haven't broken both my hands I've been super busy on spring break doing all sorts of fun things that I'm excited to share with you all now!! As I know all of you would agree while blogging is a big part of my life FAMILY comes first and I wanted to cherish and maximize all the time I got to spend with my wonderful one, so here we go.


New Puppy!!


My baby sister (Not a baby anymore she's 19) has gotten a dog to live with her at her soon to be her own apartment!! It's incredible to think she's grown up enough for all that. But while I was home I got to spend lots of bonding time with the new pup.

Her name is Phoebe!! Yes, like Phoebe Buffay from Friends :) 

Me, Phoebe, and the sister

Her wonderful parents.

While she is like the cutest dog on the planet she is only a puppy and about 2 months old so she is going to be HUGE and she is already a handful running around chewing on everything. I'll be happy to be her aunt and get to visit but not take care of her everyday like my poor sis. 

In case you were curious we believe she is a Louisiana Catahoula Leopard Dog, but she was a rescue so we aren't completely sure.

New Tattoo!!

My sister and I also spent part of our break down in Eureka Springs, AR. If you haven't been there before it's a great little get-a-way town full of music, art, and quaint bed and breakfasts. They also have some really great tattoo artists which is why I make the drive down there to get my new one done. 

We got matching tattoo's that say Soeurs which is French for sisters and honors our french heritage and our sister bond! You'll notice after mine there is a rose which is my sisters middle name. Since my middle name is Kiah there isn't really an object to go with that so we just picked a bird/dove to represent me since I have always been the peace maker of the family. 

Here is mine and yes it did hurt on the ribs but I'm tough!

This is the sis's. 

While tattoo's aren't for everyone and I totally respect that I think they are beautiful ways to express your personality and things that you cherish. If you are thinking about getting one I'll tell you the best advice I got before I got my first one:

Pick something that will never change for you. My first is a lotus flower that says Love Yourself around it (that should never change!) and obviously I will always be a sister and love mine no matter what. 

We also got the chance to go out and see a ton of our friends that I've been missing while I've been away at KC. 

But since I've been so busy I haven't been reading any of your lovely blogs so tell me what have you all been up to this week?

PS. Happy St. Patricks Day!!

Monday Man-Off

In little of all the serious posts I've been doing lately I thought I would do start something a little fun for you guys!! Every man we will be doing a "man-off," basically two gorgeous men facing off to decide who is the hottest. Sounds fun right??

For this weeks Monday Man-Off the men in question are none other than my personal favorite Ryan Gosling versus Bradley Cooper!!

Ryan Gosling: He's mysterious, artsy, and oh so dapper. Ryan makes you swoon in with his puppy dog eyes and his indie films.

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Bradley Cooper: He's the brawny, hunky, manly man every woman dreams of. Unlike Ryan he gives of the man in charge vibe rather than the adorable puppy.

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So who would you pick?? Weigh in your opinion and summit your suggestions for next weeks Monday Man-Off. Enjoy ladies!!

How you can REALLY help Uganda!

While I disagree with the Stop Kony movement because of the organization behind it I am happy that it has raised an awareness of problems in Central Africa that need to be addressed. If you missed my first post on this topic read it here.

The problems in Uganda largely are not with the LRA (Kony's organization) anymore. Where they are really suffering is in medical care and proper education. If you really want to help the citizens of Uganda, which I know a lot of people do, there are better charities to donate too.

I've listed some very reputable charities, as in the are very transparent and spend most of their money on the actual cause.


Medical Care for Central Africa

Afri Care -

Children of the Nations

Water.org

Please help spread the word about the legit charities that are out there!

Why the Stop Kony Campaign Isn't Worth Your Money

If you don't live under a rock or at least are involved in any social media you may have seen an uproar about the acts of Joseph Kony in Uganda. BUT if you haven't I'll give you a brief summary:

A group called Invisible Children launched a (brilliant) PR campaign using YouTube videos to call for the capture of Joseph Kony a notorious international criminal that created a child army in Uganda in 2007. It was an atrocity using drugs to control an army of 30,000 children (over 30 years) to take over. Kony is the leader of a group in Uganda called the Lords Royal Army (LRA). 


First off I want to say that not all of that information is even present in the 30 minute YouTube video presentation made by Invisible Children. While I do thing the idea is in the right direction, bringing this criminal to justice, I think they are misleading innocent people and choosing to do it in a violent manner.

Invisible Children Film Makers

Here are a few of the main misconceptions cleared up:

This child army still exists- False, this was stopped about 6 years ago which is why the US isn't send military reinforcements to Uganda.

Joseph Koney is still in Uganda- False, he fled Uganda about 6 years ago and is currently believed to be in South Sudan hiding out.

The LRA is still an active group causing destruction- False, while there are still members of the LRA left they range in the hundreds not thousands.

Buying a KonyKit from Invisible Children will help bring him down- False, Kony has virtually already been brought down. Buying the kit for $30 is really a waste of money considering that Invisible Children seems to have a lot of invisible bank accounts that their money goes too. They only spend 30% of their funds on the cause and have horrific financial records.

Invisible Children is promoting peaceful efforts- False, Invisible Children is calling for providing the Ugandan military with weapons to capture Kony which can only lead to the death of many more innocent Ugandans and most likely not the capture of Kony. (See the film makers pictured above with weapons and the Ugandan militia.)

What disturbs me so greatly about all this is the focus on Kony's death and the call to violence (Twitter handles such as @KonyMustDie and comparisons of him to Adolf Hilter).

Can't we see that a call to arms never gets us anywhere? The focus should be on helping the survivors and victims left in Uganda rather than the prosecution of one man. He represents an idea and supporting violently finding him only SUPPORTS HIS IDEOLOGY.

From an economic and ethical standpoint we need to understand that Invisible Children is a bogus campaign. While awareness is great, large amounts of mislead people can be extremely harmful.

So I ask all of you to try and pursuade others to DO THEIR RESEARCH before they jump on the Stop Kony campaign bandwagon.

Thanks for listening to my rant. :) I plan to do a follow up post on better solutions.

Resources: Should I donate my money to Invisible Children?
                  Charity Navigator Rating
                  Obama Takes on the LRA
                  Visible Children

Mr. Darcy's Good Opinion

"My good opinion once lost is lost forever."

I am a huge fan of Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. If a man were to quote any of his lines (except the snotty ones of course) to me I would probably tell him that he has bewitched me body and soul. Ok but lets get to the read point of this post which unfortunately isn't actually Mr. Darcy.

But it is about what Mr. Darcy has brought up. Is a good opinion lost forever? Can you ever really trust someone that's broken your trust before?

Love this man.

To tell you all the truth I can't think of to many instances where I have been blatantly lied to. In the one case where it happened I don't think I will ever or will ever want to trust that guy again. But what if he had been someone I genuinely cared for and wanted a relationship with. I'm not sure about that. 

What's interesting about this is that we have trust in relationships to being with. There is so little trust left in our society. So few of us trust what we hear on the news or in the media. Even less of us trust politicians or our government to tell us the whole truth. 

Yet some how we are able to still have trust in the people we love or care about. That in itself is pretty incredible. It's amazing that we can find it somewhere inside to ourselves to have faith in each other. 

So if we can begin with so much blind faith in people that we love does that mean we can keep it up even if we've been "betrayed?" I guess it just depends on the situation and the level of betrayal that occurred. It also sort of depends on how much you can be ok with. 

Guess he changed is opinion :)

For some people we take the harsh Mr. Darcy opinion and our good opinion/trust can never be regained. While that may be the best method to protect ourselves I'm not necessarily sure it is the best option always. I think there are exceptions to every rule. 

What are you're all opinions on this subject?