Thursday, December 29, 2011

Sex= Love, Right?

I remember distinctly when my parents had the birds and the bees talk with my sister and I. I was 9 years old and my best friends 16 year old sister just had a baby, but she wasn't married. This was radical to me so my parents were forced to explain.

What bothered me the most out of the whole conversation was that they wouldn't call it sex, they kept referring to IT (because the word it clearly implies sex) as making love. An expression that still irks me to this day. I believe that the expression making love is where the trouble all begins.

 It could be called making my self-esteem higher, making my ex-boyfriend jealous, making my relationship work, or making use of my time, but in many circumstances definitely not making any thing even close to love.

But as women all we really want is to be loved. If we aren't finding any then why the hell not make your own!

I was recently having a conversation with a guy who told me that he is straight up about his intentions when having sex. He isn't going to become your boyfriend because you slept together. Heck he says he won't even stay till morning. The strange thing is that even though he tells women this they still have hurt feelings when he doesn't call or the relationship doesn't go anywhere.

Why do we still engage in sex with expectations we KNOW won't be met? Is it because we think having our hopes and dreams crushed is fun? Definitely not! So then why? Why do we continually set ourselves up for heart ache? Because we just want to be loved by someone, anyone!

Let me let you in on a little secret, sex in fact does not indicate any type of love. Sex can be a part of love but love is never sex. Meaningless sex won't fill the hole you feel in your heart and the sooner we accept that the less broken hearts there will be. If emotionless sex is what you like then by all means go for it! But if not find someone that loves you to have sex with.

As always, keep it classy!

XOXO Hayley

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