Thursday, August 8, 2013

Searching for Love in Likes

Thinking back to seventh grade, when I told my best friend I had fallen in love because of a mutual fondness for Dr. Pepper, I realize that we often time are looking for the wrong things when trying to find love. When you meet someone and go and peruse their social media profiles, you know you all do it, the things that jump out at you most are probably your shared interests. You thing Mumford and Sons are awesome and he also thinks Mumford and Son's is awesome, it's a perfect match!


While it may sound silly simplified to that extent, think about it. How many times have you found yourself having a conversation with a person you may be interested in about just the things you have in common? The shared interest in music, movies, food, all petty and quite honestly meaningless things about them and yourself.

I think a major problem this generation is suffering from, at least in the romance department, is defining ourselves by our interests rather than who you are. Social media and a list of our virtual "likes" perpetrate the problem further.

Shared interests are maybe a great way to get a conversation started or to find an activity to bond over, but we seem to confuse them with the substance that can build a relationship. Unless you are writing a thesis on the impact of The Godfather on the perception of the mafia in popular culture, there is not much about that being your favorite movie that defines you as a person (even though it displays an excellent taste in movies!).

But seriously, Marlon Brando, amazing.

Think of how many millions of people listen to the same music, watch the same movies, and enjoy the same food as you. My chances of walking outside and running into someone of the opposite sex that has watched and enjoyed the same movie as me is extremely probable, and I'm in a foreign country!

The point I am making here is that we should center the conversation around getting to know people's passions rather than their pop culture interests. Knowing what drives a person tells you significantly more about their character than the fact that you both like spicy foods.

That being said, it should encourage you to look for people outside of your general scope of thinking. For example, just because I am an aspiring writer who enjoys 90s pop, that doesn't mean a computer programmer that likes bluegrass couldn't be my perfect match values wise.

So stop defining yourself by what your Facebook page says you're interested in and start going off of what makes you get out of bed every morning, whatever that may be. The change could very well help you find the right places to be looking.

As Always, Stay Classy

Hayley Kiah

1 comment:

  1. This is excellent. And really, I think this is something that even preceeds facebook. I'm pretty sure when I was a teenage (long before facebook) on my laundry list of things that would make the the perfect guy for me would have been things like "must be a writer, love poetry, etc." My husband is not a poet or a fact, he hates poetry. Doesn't even like non-fiction. And so much of what he loves are things I have no interest in. But I wouldn't trade him in for a poet any day.

    Its hard to find someone you share no interest in, and impossible to find someone who shares all your interests. A little is enough, if they care about you enough to tolerate and even show some level of interest in the things you're truely passionate about. He hates poetry, but he'll read any poem I write. I am not interested in math, but I'll listen to him talk about what he can do with it. I grammar check his resumes and proposals, and he has opened me up to how fascinating science is. He'll never be a big fiction reader, but we watch movies with deep, practically literary plotlines, and disscuss them just like I would discuss a novel at a book club.