Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Feeling the Homesickness

Today marks the 6th week since I've left home, crazy to think that I've been here for a month and a half already. This realization is finding me with mixed emotions about how I feel about the rest of my 2.5 months I have left. As a general rule, I've always wanted to be very honest in writing about my experiences so I'll just put it out there. I could go home right now and that would be okay. I could pack my bags and say chau to Argentina with minimal regret.

But the thing is, I can't. I'm here for better or for worst till November. The reason I'm feeling so homesick I think has nothing to do with Argentina being bad. I really do enjoy it here and I love all the people I've met. Argentina is a seriously interesting country, both historically and culturally. The thing is that I just really miss my family, a lot.

Charley and I look like twins!

I think it's really hard for anyone else to understand the kind of bond we all have, especially with Aubrey and Charley. All of the other students here miss their families too, I'm sure. But for me their more than just my family, they're my very best friends. I need my relationship and connection with them like I need oxygen to breathe. So not only am I separated from my brother and sisters, but from my closest friends.

I'm almost positive that what's brought all of this on is that, Aubrey had her ultrasound and found out she's having a baby girl!!! (Super excited about that.) This is one of those life events that I feel like I should be there for. My best friend is pregnant and I'm missing it! Luckily I'll be back home in plenty of time for the baby to get their (thank God!).

She did a great job of hiding her belly in this!

I guess part of my problem is also that I spent so much time the past couple of years wanting to escape and go somewhere exciting and new. But what I've found is that I love home so much more than I knew. I love Missouri and cows and squirrels and the fact that I know most everyone. I love that people understand me and that home is only a short drive away. I spent so much time wanting to be somewhere else, that I didn't appreciate where I was.

Traveling is always talked about as one great big, incredible adventure, which it is, don't get me wrong. But, on the other hand, no amount of beautiful sights can replace how wonderful it is to see my whole family standing around the kitchen talking too loudly. I think I thought that I was going to be the kind of person that would want to live abroad for years, returning home occasionally for holidays and visits. But I don't think I want to do that. I don't want to miss out on my niece growing up and my brother starting college and Emy's wonderful moments.

I do want to travel. I want to see the world and even more places. But I want to do it with people that I love and with a home in sight. So what if I'm not as adventurous and crazy as I thought, I have something better, people that I can love.

One of the girls here gave me some really great advice about homesickness that I think really applies right now. She told me that no matter where you go and what you do, home will always be the same. The world may change, but your family will always be there when you get back. That's really what's going to get me through this, that my family is going to be there when I get back!

So now that I've had my moment of moping I'm going to go back to having an amazing time here!


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