Does NO still mean NO?

It seems to be that there has been a break down of what NO means to everyone. Especially when it comes to relationship or people wanting to be in a relationship with someone. With all of our fancy new technology getting in contact with people has become almost to easy.    for those people you don't want to talk too. Let me give you some examples.

In my case it was a guy that I was talking to then decided I didn't have any romantic interest in. I let him know this and thought that our communication would just end there. I was very very wrong. The last text I sent him was in January saying that "Yes, I would like you to stop talking to me." He since then has still texts me to this day with no answer. Whether it be hey, hi, hello, why aren't you talking to me, this guy just isn't getting that NO means NO!!

But this phenomena is not happening just to me. Below are some screen shots that were sent to the @WhyYouHateGuys twitter account of guys that also couldn't take a hint. Enjoy.

Via @WhyYouHateGuys

Via @WhyYouHateGuys

Not only are these desperate attempts annoying and pathetic they show a break down of what no means. Which is caused by a lack of respect on both sides. Respect for themselves and respect for the girl's wishes to not talk to this person. 

Now hang on because we are about to get serious here. While these unwanted messages may be fun to read they represent a much more frightening problem. If a guy can't understand that you don't want to talk to him what else does he have a problem understanding?

I think that if someone can't respect you saying NO I don't want to talk to you they probably will also have a hard time listening to NO I don't want to go into that room with you and no I don't want to do anything with you. 

Not to say that these guys are or will ever cross the boundary into physically violating someone but they are willing to do it verbally.

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According to Human Rights Watch rape has increased significantly over the past years in the United States and I think it has a direct correlation with that fact that people no longer respect boundaries. 

So I'm not saying that every guy that can't take a hint is a rapist but they do show an obvious lack of respect for you and your feelings so be wary of what else they won't respect. 

I guess to answer the question does NO still mean NO the answer really is no. It doesn't any more. But we can change that by surrounding ourselves with people that respect us enough to respect NO. 

PS. Check out his Twitter every Tuesday for funny things like this or search the hash tag #TrashYourExTuesday

Warm and Fuzzy Wednesday

So for everyone that was maybe bummed out by Valentines Day or as some may call it, Single's Awareness Day, here are some warm and fuzzy things to make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside this hump day!

And if you're not bummed out enjoy feeling even more warm and fuzzy anyway!!!

Here are the top 5 things that I have made me feel warm and fuzzy this week!!

#1 Baby Ocelots!!

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#2 Pink fuzzy socks that my mom gave me for Christmas!

#3 The first snow of the year on campus.

#2 Conversation with my baby sister. I love her!

Isn't she gorgeous?!

#1 Looking at pictures of Ryan Gosling!!

He's even hott scruffy!!! 

One for the road!!

He is so perfect!

Hope that this helped brighten all of yours day just a bit! What has made your week warm and fuzzy?


As Always, Stay Classy
XOXO


Hayley

It's Raining Men

Why is it that as you soon as you've decided to stop looking and give up on boys that they suddenly start a feeding frenzy? At our loneliest most single moments boys don't even notice that you exist. But when you have a guy on your mind that is actually interested in you, suddenly you become the most amazing girl in the world.

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I feel like content-ness with your current situation is like blood in the water to boys. They smell it on you and they want a piece of it.

For instance, a boy that I liked very much about 3 or 4 months ago is now wanting to hang out with me! 3 or 4 months ago I would have been absolutely ecstatic to hang out with this boy. But now as he tells me I need to come to his room because he's already in bed naked, (YES, he actually said that) I am debating whether or not I want to be that girl.

Honestly I feel like if you didn't want me then, then why the hell should I want you now? I'm still the same girl I was but I don't want to be anyones seconds, thirds, fourths, or whatever I would be.

It must be this newfound confidence that has become the powerful trigger to attract all these men to me.  But as I would encourage ever girl that's single out there to do: Don't be with someone that won't care about you in all times, the good and the bad.

You need to have respect for yourself first if you want any guy to respect you. And I truly doubt that boy anixously awaiting my arrive in the nude has zero respect for me. Which is why I politely declined and laughed my head off with my roommates about it.

Love yourself first girls!


As Always, Stay Classy
XOXO


Classy

Compliments from a Brother

For this story to make sense I must first let you all know that I'm a small town girl from a primarily white community. The first black kid we ever had in school wasn't till high school so moving to Kansas City was a major culture shock to me. I'll be the first to tell you that I think everyone is equal black, white, or purple we're all the same when you turn us inside out. But there are some definite cultural differences in what lingo we use and what is socially acceptable.

My campus is probably a mix of as many whites as blacks. And let me tell you I am just now getting used to these daily ego boosts. I love walking through the lobby of my dorm and having boys tell you how great you are looking. It's amazing, white guys take note!!

But sometimes we get lost in translation on some of the compliments. For instance we had a discussion today with my friend that I will call J about a compliment he gave us. 

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J said that one of my girls was thick and she took that as being called fat! So of course she got upset and was horribly offended that he called her fat. The funny part was that he meant it as a compliment. When it comes to black boys being called thick is a good thing. 

Here's how he explained it: Guys don't want a girl that's to skinny. She has to have some meat on her bones (aka a booty) and that means she's thick but it's hott!!

Growing up I've always been taught thin is pretty but honestly I kind of like this meat on your bones philosophy. I wouldn't consider myself a girl with body image issues but I will admit I have felt the pressure to be a skinny minnie. I love that there is an entire race of people that appreciate women for being real and having real bodies!

Not to say that we shouldn't be healthy but 100 lbs isn't healthy for a lot of girls so they shouldn't have to feel like they need to meet that standard. 

I guess overall I just wanted to say that I appreciate guys appreciating me every once in a while regardless of race or whatever. It just so happens that black guys do it more. 

So when you get a compliment, even if you don't quite understand it, take it and say thanks and let it brighten your day!

As Always, Stay Classy

XOXO

Classy 

It's Not Over

It's not over, it's not over. It's never over. Unless you let it take you. It's not over, it's not over. It's never over. Unless you let it break you. 

- Secondhand Serenade

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I literally listened to this song on repeat for days underneath my fuzzy pink blanket when I broke up with my first boyfriend. It really makes me think about if it is ever really over. Do we ever completely fall out of love with someone? And if so does that mean that we never truly loved them in the first place?

Looking back on my past relationship I think about all the promises that were made. The promise to never leave, to never stop loving. At the time it felt so real and it was an honest promise. But in retrospect it makes me wonder if I'm still continuing to keep this promise or if I always knew all along that I really wouldn't keep it.

I'm at that point in singledom where I'm over the boy but not yet over the relationship. Spending three years of your life with someone is difficult to erase from your memory. Some mornings I wake up and I forget that we're not together anymore. Or I have a dream that we're together and he's changed.

It's funny how falling in love happens so quickly while falling back out of love takes so much time and effort. I guess that's because were love easy and are always fearful of letting go, even of bad things.

I remembered learning in school that you should never touch something hot with palm because your muscles reaction to heat is to close around it. Bad relationships are like that. Even though it hurts it's so hard to let go of them because it's your reaction to hold on.

The lesson to be learned here is that your burns from holding on may never truly heal. You will always be left with scars but we learn to get over them as much as we can and love someone else. The memories of past loves will always linger but we grow from them and become stronger in the future.

Just my daily rant for the day!! Made me feel better to get it out.



As Always, Stay Classy
XOXO

Classy

Sometimes in Love it Lasts...

But sometimes it hurts instead....

One Classy Lady

Adele is so wise! I feel like so many of her songs speak to my soul. Especially this one I think it takes the idealistic view of our one true love and turns it on it's head. Love isn't everything I guess...

We are constantly told by images we see in movies and magazine and life that love is easy. When you find someone you love your life will be forever changed and you should never let go. But what about the other side of things. When you love someone that maybe isn't good for you, are we supposed to hold onto those people still?

I guess what so often gets ignored is the fact that to truly love and be happy with someone else you have to be Loving yourself also. That means being in relationship that improves you rather than brings you down.

So many girl (myself included) think that you have to be with someone because you love them. You overlook the fact that it can make you hate yourself being with them.

Adele says that sometimes it lasts in love, which is so true. If you find someone that makes you feel amazing about yourself and that feels the same way about you hold on tight. But don't think this is always the case just because you want it to be.

Love can hurt, but you don't have to let it hurt you. I don't just mean abusive relationships either, if you aren't getting the full amount of what you truly deserve then you shouldn't settle.

I guess the moral is that not ALL love is true ever lasting love and that's ok. True love is out there you just have to be patience enough to wait for it.


Stay Classy!!

XOXO
Classy

Boyz to Men: College Life

 Making this transition from high school boys to college I've discovered that not much changes. Let me tell you a little ancedote to illustrate my point.

First day of school we have a guest speaker talking to us about how we are coming into the real world and growing up. At some point during this speech the phrase "our duty" came up and I'm sure you can guess what happens next. The word duty triggered a bout of giggles and repeating "he said doody!" from all of the young men around us.

See my point? While men may be growing older in years they are not growing in maturity. This lack of maturity also applies to college boys when it comes to dating situations. I'm not just meaning cheesy pick-up lines or dumb "how you doing??" I mean absolutely ridiculous things!

Here are some of the worst offenses I've seen so far:

Updating Facebook Status's About YOU:


I rejected a guy earlier in the year who then posted a status every time he saw me about how mean and rude I was. Seriously dude? TMI.

Drunkly Trying to Seduce You:


I was at the club with my girls and I happened to be the DD for the night. I was though holding my friends cup which lead a guy to believe I must have been intoxicated enough to want to hook up with him. After a few dances he started to KISS MY NECK!! Yes this dude did that! EWW!!
(Boys never do this to a girl you don't know, gross) Needless to say I got out of their quick!

Ditching You to Hook-up with Other Girls:


I've always been on the impression that a boy saying he would like to hang out with you mean that they are at least vaguely interested in you. Well like most men they're only interested in what they think they can get. I got ditched for a movie night and ice cream. So I got the hint, he wasn't interested. After I make a new girl friend we start talking about him and turns out he was hooking up with her when he ditched me!! Really classy...

I guess boys never really grow up but whats new!


XOXO,
Classy

Treat me like a class lady!

Ok ladies, we've all been there a first date with a guy that seems so great through text or online then he blows it!! We all know that all boys are immature and stupid but they aren't supposed to let that show until after at least the third date. Nobody is perfect but we don't have to put our faults and quirks out on display until after someone has gotten a chance to like you.

I like to think of myself as a pretty classy lady. I don't curse publicly, open my legs when wearing a dress with no underwear (open my legs when wearing a dress at all), or get sloppily drunk. Because of this I would like to be treated like the lady that I am.

This is what we're really thinking.

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I recently went on a date with guy I met at a party, ok I'll admit that was my first mistake. I agreed to go on a date with him a few days later. While eating this guy casually dropped numerous profanities into our conversation. Let me tell you that this was a MAJOR turn off. I understand that people cuss and that's ok but please don't do it on the first date.

Another guy I went on a date with seemed a little dorky which can be cute in some cases. Admitting that you still love Pokemon and having several Facebook pictures of Pokemon characters isn't cool. To put icing on that little cupcake he also can name all of the alien races in Star Wars. Yeah...

Some of these things are OK if the girl you are going on a date with has made it obvious that those things are cool with them. Such as they admit to loving Pokemon or also curse a lot. But it's pretty safe to say that in most situations you shouldn't let those "quirks" show till after you've gotten better acquainted.

So please guys always assume that you are on a date with a classy girl and treat her as such!!
HINT: It may help you get more second dates.