You won't find love in someone's pants.

While it may seem silly, and you might be saying, "Hayley, I'm not stupid I know I won't find love in some persons pants." But secretly you think that you might. Just admit it. Virtually all sexually active women (maybe men also) like to hope to at least some degree that they will actually fall in love with someone they are hooking up with. Knowing that this is wrong isn't anything new to you. But I'm going to give you a new take on why it won't work, other than sex is immoral.

So we're all clear on the fact that sex doesn't equal love, right? If you're not, feel free to refresh yourself on the topic here. Now that we've gotten that all sorted out let's talk about why you can't possibly find love that way but why it's also not necessarily a bad thing.

On second thought, let's check in their pants...

What are your intentions? If you're just looking for a good time there is nothing wrong with casual sex or hooking up outside of a relationship. But if you are looking for a significant other or to fall in love, even secretly deep down inside, just don't do it. You won't find love.

The problem isn't so much that you're cheapening yourself or that you've become dirty somehow by having sex, but rather that you've already put it out there that a relationship is not what you want and they have too.

Even saying the whole, "I never do this!" line won't help you prove that you want a relationship. By having sex or engaging in sexual acts with them you made them think that you are on the same page of not wanting anything more. It's not because they're a douche (though they definitely can be!) it's the fact that you mislead them about what you were looking for.

You also get back, what you give out. When you make yourself seem like an easy, fun time that's all that you will get back in return. There is nothing more annoying than a girl that gets upset when a guy doesn't actually like her AFTER she's already had sex with him. Of course he doesn't want you to be his girlfriend! You didn't act like girlfriend material!! And frankly, you don't want that guy to be your boyfriend either if that's the way he was acting.

This isn't to say that you can't have sex for fun. You totally can, just don't expect them to want anything serious with you afterwards. Just don't have sex (at least at first) with people that you may want a relationship with in the future.

The moral of the story is that there is nothing wrong with sex, just make sure that you put out the same vibes that you are wanting to get back.



As always, stay classy
Hayley

Is the internet killing romance?

One of women's all time favorite things to do is talk about how they wish romance was still like it was in old timey movies. Famous lines from movies like, It's a Wonderful Life, "you want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down," have us starstruck by the sweet, romanticism of it all. While part of the problem is that movies aren't real life, a larger and more solvable problem is that our technological generation is killing the romance.

It's a Wonderful Life

Men don't get a chance to tell us sweet lines like that because often times we have made our decision on what we think of them way before we actually give them a chance. Can our access to virtually all the information we could ever want about a person be the reason there is no more romance in our love lives? I think the answer is yes, for several reasons.

First of all, we no longer "get to know someone" in any kind of traditional sense. With a few quick taps on our keyboard we can know everything about a person, their birthday, favorite color, great aunt, the picture of them in their hometown newspaper when they won a ribbon for participation in a wrestling tournament when they were 8 years old, everything.

Spend a little less time doing this...

The problem with this is that when we learn about someone through a computer or phone screen we miss out on all the best stuff. We don't get to hear the funny story that goes along with newspaper clipping. We don't get to hear why their past relationship didn't work out from them. An electronic device can't show you the way they snort when they recall a good memory or the pain still present when talking about a family pet that passed. You miss out on so much.

Not only do you miss out learning more about them you either fall in love with or dislike someone based on their online profile. Someone can seem perfect for you through the lens of what they choice to post and write about themselves, but it can't show you the real them. It can also cause you to not give them a chance because you think you know something about them, without letting them offer an explanation.

Those are just the major issues that come up. We haven't even talked about accidentally bringing up a personal fact they haven't told you yet or the fact that you miss out on all the excitement.

... More time doing this.

So the point that knowledge is power. It's great to know a little something about someone before you devote time to them. But at what cost? The next time you meet a new guy or gal instead of heading straight to their facebook to analyze every girl that's posted on their wall in the past year or try and decide if that's their sister or an ex-girlfriend, stop and think about what you're doing.

Part of the fun of dating is the discovery. Finding out bit by bit about someone new. Romance lies in the mystery of not knowing all the facts. Googling someone is like starting a new book at the ending, which you just should never do. So unless you are one of those horrible people that read the endings of books first, resist the urge to google and let the romance thrive.


As always, stay classy
XOXO

Hayley

Let's Talk About Sex

Let's talk about sex baby. Let's talk about you and me. Let's talk about all the good things and 

the bad things that may be.

Being in a relatively progressive college sometimes makes me forget about how little sex was talked about before I was in college. The good, the bad, I didn't know much besides that it was evil. As the gym teacher in Mean Girls puts it, "if you have sex you WILL get pregnant and you WILL die." While they were exaggerating a bit for humor that's pretty similar to the sex education I received in High School and that a lot of other people did to. Not only did this damage me in not understanding some very important fundamentals of life but it took away my choice to make good decisions about my sex life. 

What we're taught.

So sex is bad. We got it. But just because that's what we were taught it doesn't mean that we aren't still having sex. We're just having it uninformed about how to do it safely or at the right time. I am understand the firm belief that abstinence only training has not only ignored how to have safe sex but has made it so shameful to actually discuss that no one wants to talk about issues like choosing the right persons to have sex with, when to do it, how to do, etc. 

The argument is always that if you aren't mature enough to discuss it you shouldn't be having it. But sometimes it's not an issue of maturity. I'm a pretty mature person for my age but the words penis and vagina make me cringe (just cringed typing that). It's not something that you should be able to say in public, or so my school system taught me. The discuss of masturbation makes me blush redder than a tomato, and that's discussing it with girls, don't even get me started on talking about it with boys. 

By being taught that our bodies and sexual urges are something we should be ashamed of we never get to the point where we are comfortable enough to discuss it with our sexual partners, maybe ever. But we still have sex with people and then end up confused when things happen that we don't understand. Maybe your partner has trouble getting turned on or get off but there is NO WAY IN HELL you could ever talk with them about it much less someone else to solve the problem. 

Though a lot of these things make me cringe I would still say I'm a pretty liberal person when it comes to talking about sex. I have a tendency to make a lot of people uncomfortable by simply saying what I'm thinking in mixed company (aka with boys and girls). This openness is something I learned on my own. In high school I was literally told that touching boys at all made you a slut. 

Even though I still have a little ways to go in leaving the stigmas about sexuality behind, I think that not being "afraid" of talking about sex has helped me make more responsible choices and have a more gratifying sex life. 

Sex happens. It's how we all go here so why are we so freaked out by it. Teaching people that abstinence is the only way creates many more problems than it fixes. You should be able to have the choice to have sex or wait and do it with whoever you want. We should be telling people how to do it the right way not shaming them for doing it all. 

As always, stay classy

XOXO

Hayley Kiah 

Can your friends ruin your love life?

If you're like most people in college your best friends are probably a big part of your life. Without your family nearby they become your family away from home. You share everything from clothes and shoes to advice and stories they know pretty much every detail of your life.

You love your friends, but does your relationship with them stop you from having real romantic relationships? Maybe they do. Approaching a girl is scary and immidating. Imagine having to approach a huge group of girls that are all sizing you up and judging your every move. The impenetrable block that are your girlfriends are a surefire way for a guy to move on to a girl that seems more approachable.

The Spice Girls

My girl group consists of 6 females with wildly different personalities but very strong opinions. We've been called the Cheeta Girls, Mean Girls, but the most popular is the Spice Girls. We're know for being inseparable, which isn't a good thing for any guy that wants to talk to us. 

So how do you get guys to approach you without giving up your girl time? 

• Branch Out: I know you love your friends and want to spend every waking moment with them, but try to do somethings on your own. Go to an event on campus solo or join a new club. You'll make some new friends, seem ultra-confident, and be much easier for guys to want to talk to.

• Make Your Own Decisions: Even though you want run everything you do or say by your girls resist the urge and go with your gut. When you have to second guess everything or have your friends approve every text you send, you lose a little bit of the fun.

• Be Independent: Obviously you're going to still go out with your friends but try going to the bathroom on your own, get a new drink by yourself, or dance solo. They're not kidding when they say confidence is sexy. No guy will be able to take his eyes off you when they see that you're not attached to another girl. 

Inseparable where ever we go!

Just because you want to land a guy doesn't mean you should give up your relationship with your girlfriends. But try to act a little more like you're in college and not 7th grade and you'll seem like some one a guy (hopefully a worthwhile guy) would want to take to. 

As always, stay classy

XOXO

Hayley

Is honesty really the best policy?

“People who are brutally honest get more satisfaction out of the brutality than out of the honesty.”

 Richard J. Needham

Imagine a world where people really say what they mean. I mean really say the complete and honest truth. That sounds great right? No one lies to anyone. But sometimes it seems like the truth can hurt more than a lie. Brutal honesty isn't exactly a walk in the park.

One of the most confusing parts about girls or human beings in general is that we have no idea what we want. We say we want the truth but really we only want the sugar coating. The truth is a lot like a bowl of trail mix. We buy it but all you really want is the m&ms.

So I guess the problem is that we have different styles of communicating and how we want that truth given to us. For myself just straight up telling me the truth that you don't like me or think I'm terrible at my job is going to make me start crying. But for others that may be the best way to give them feedback.

Think about how this applies to relationships when the two people don't understand how each other communicate and how many pointless fights are started over it. The "does this make me look fat" question is a perfect example. While some women may prefer honesty others just want you to tell them they look nice and aren't looking for a real answer.

While I would never condone lying or dishonesty (that's probably my biggest pet peeve ever) I don't know that you always have to tell the whole brutal truth because most of the time I'd rather just not know that the reason you broke up with me was because you thought you had a chance with my even hotter sister. Isn't just tell me things aren't working out. I know it's not quite the truth but it still gets the same point across.

So ladies or gentleman for my occasional male reader think about how you want to be talked to. Do you prefer to have things sugar coated or is the harsh truth better for you? Do you prefer to be told bad things or even good things through writing on face to face discussion? You don't have to sit your partner down and demand they talk to you that way but you can subtly hint that when they are really harsh with you it hurts your feelings or that you don't appreciate them trying to soften bad news.

Whatever the case you need to find out your communication style and the communication style of the person you are with if you want to have a solid, open relationship with less hurt feeling. But above all remember that being dishonest is never the answer just find the right way to present the truth.




As always, stay classy
XOXO

Hayley

Surviving the Holidays Single

For those that are newly single or just facing yet another Christmas/New Years with no one it's not always easy to cope with being alone. Sometimes this leads us to make stupid decisions like not leaving bed for days or dating a crappy guy out of desperation. While I can't magically help you find the love of  your life I guarantee you won't find him at the bottom of a tub of Ben and Jerry's.

Last Christmas break I spent the majority of time in bed surrounded by cats no joke. It was on the fourth day that I hadn't left my room and I was covered in cats, crying because the wedding dress I loved was being discontinued that my parents and sister intervened. They told me that I had to shower because it was sad and just plain gross. My incentive was ice cream. That was definitely a low point I never plan on reaching again so here are my helpful tips to stop you for doing what I did.

#1 Stay busy!

I know that the nice part about break is that you get to relax and maybe sleep in a bit. The only problem is that you can't let sleep be the only thing on your schedule. Try to set a time you have to wake up and things to do so you don't end up in bed till mid-afternoon everyday. Some ideas would be visiting old friends to catch up, going to make new friends, or even just going out to window shop. Anything is better than nothing!

My bed was covered in cats!

#2 Create a support system.

Even if you are away from your best friends over break make sure that you have check in times with them. If you start feeling really blue make sure you have someone that you can call to vent to that will cheer you up.

#3 Dress your best.

I've realized for myself that how I look affects how I feel. If everyday I don't get dressed or put in my contacts or fix my hair I start to feel as sloppy as I look. This isn't to say that you have to be dressed to the nines every time you go to Walmart but at least put on some real pants for heavens sakes.

This was my outfit for most of break.

#4 Don't let relatives get you down.

We all have that aunt or grandma that questions why you are still single which is an instant mood killer. You can't prevent them from asking prying questions, like when my Grandma asked me if I was "into the boy thing right now are not." But we can control how we react to those questions. So instead of getting upset tell the about something else positive and great going on in your life.
Ex. Well I don't have a man in my life but I just got promoted at my job!

#5 Keep things in perspective.

While sometimes you may feel like the only single person left in the world you have to keep in mind that despite what Facebook may tell you, you're not. Chances are you're probably to young and amazing to be worrying about spinsterhood right now. So instead of focusing on how depressing your love life is, work to make you the best you can be.

And remember you have to love yourself before anyone can even have a chance at loving you so use the holiday season for self-improvement rather than self-loathing. Happy holidays!



As Always, Stay Classy
XOXO

Hayley Kiah

Act Like a Man

I'm sure we are all familiar with the old adage, think like a man, act like a lady. But in today's college culture more and more women are changing it to act like a man. We justify our actions by saying we're just doing what all men do to us. There is just one little issue with this life philosophy.

Men don't necessarily do what women think they are doing. 

I will give you a minute to be shocked and let this soak in. Think about what your knowledge of college or any men is (if you are a male this won't really pertain to you). You probably envision a sweet talking, player that's goal is to get in as many girls pants as possible. While this may not be every guy I bet someone came into your head.

Going off this idea that men treat women like things to be conquered, it's easy for a female to justify sleeping around or treating men like objects. We're just doing what guys do right? That makes it ok. I think in a lot of women's heads they believe that they can never be worse than the guys, they're just keeping up and surviving.

The problem with this equation is that we over exaggerate how big of players men are. Take for instance a guy at my school that myself and a lot of the female population believe to be a "man-whore." Being the expert at creating awkward situations that I am, I point blank asked if this was true. He denied up an down that he had been whoring around the school. At first I was skeptical but after a good 45 minutes of interrogating him and his roommates I believed him.

In fact I can think of several other females on this campus that have significantly worse track records than he does. If the most notorious guy on campus really isn't that bad, then what does that mean for us girls?

We do things because we think other people are doing them also and it justifies our actions. But all this seems to have lead to is girls with higher numbers and lower self-esteem.

Maybe it's time we start basing our relationship/sexual choices on what we want not what we think other people are doing or what guys are doing. If you find someone you genuinely care about and who genuinely cares about you, how could you go wrong? Well probably a lot of ways but we'll save that for another day!

As always, stay classy
XOXO

Hayley

So Cosmo says you're awkward...

So Cosmo says you're awkward, well I ain't down with that.

I really hope for all our sakes that you read that title to the tune of Baby Got Back because that's what was going on in my head when I wrote it.

You may have noticed some recent changes to the blog if you are a former reader. Well congratulations! You get to move with me to a new stage of my life. I've just kind of grown out of Classy in KC. That was really about me finding myself and getting over my past relationship. Now I am all about embracing the girl that I am!

Let me introduce you to Awkward Girl Cosmo. Like most women in their early twenties I am an avid reader of Cosmopolitan to learn everything about how to attract men and keep them. My problem lies in that all of Cosmo's tips and tricks are directed towards women who already have an ability to be naturally sultry anyway. Those girls may be out there, but believe me I'm not one of them.

My concept is to create a version of cosmo's advice that can be applied in real life to actual girls that aren't already sex goddess and that can't remember where each anatomical spot of the alphabet is that we're supposed to be touching.

I've always been told that the thing that makes you most attractive is your confidence. So while I may not be sexy or graceful you better believe I make ever bludder with the upmost confidence in myself that it's ok. Since I've been doing it, it has seemed to work pretty darn well!

While sky high heels, a killer body, and the perfect thing to say can make you feel confident they don't have to be the only things that do.

I encourage you to simply embrace the awkward. 



Stay True,
Hayley XOXO

Letter to Myself

This is yet another letter I wrote to myself several months ago back in October. I think now is the time for me to FINALLY take my own advice. Enjoy.

Wow. It's incredible to look back on the Hayley of just a few years ago. I have changed so much in so many ways. I think I've also lost my drive to question everything about the world. I want to get that back. 


But most of all I think I have learned. Four years ago I hadn't even had a glimpse of the world. Now, though I still have so much more to see I feel like I have at least had experiences I can learn from. 


This is my advice to the girl I once was. You don't need anyone to support you or make you who you are. You felt so independent and you always said that you would never let a man boss you around or change who you were. But you feel so easily into that. Don't doubt yourself or who you are. You are wonderful exactly how you are without anyone by your side, or more likely dragging you along. 


Love with all your heart but still take caution. You don't need to have a crush or a guy you are pursuing ALL the time. Even though you like to give yourself over completely to people they won't necessarily be a kind as they should be. 


This is SO true. I don't need to have a crush or some I'm trying to get to like me all the time. It's ok to just be me. I'm working hard on becoming comfortable with that and everyone's insightful and thoughtful conflicts on my previous posts help more than you all know. So thank you your thoughts are so greatly appreciated. 




As Always, Stay Classy
XOXO




Hayley

Keep Calm, You're Just Single

So if you follow me on twitter, if you don't you should @Classy_In_KC, you may have seen me have a minor freak out yesterday. It was a rough day for some reason. But here's the basic gist of what went down.

There's a very pleasant boy in one of my classes that looks about my age. We got out of class early so my day was going great. As I was chatting with this boy on my way out of the building he said something about his wife.... Yes I heard him correctly, wife.

What I was doing yesterday.

Now I know what you're thinking. You think that I must have had a major crush on this boy and finding out he's flipping married ruined it for me. But that wasn't even it. He's nice but I don't particularly want to date him. It's just that he's exactly my age and he's MARRIED!!

I'm no where near marriage, hell I don't even have a boyfriend to consider being married too! The best I got at this point is my one of my best friends that says we'll get married if we're both single at 29. He's adorable and awesome by the way but really 9 years is a long time.

So after this all went down I sort of panicked. I flipped out to my friends (one of which got married at 17... oops) about how dumb that was. Why would you want to be married right now, we're kids for heavens sake. We don't even have real jobs or houses or pay our own car insurance how could we be married.

After I was told to take deep breathes and calm the heck down by my friends I was ok.

I guess it's just scary because just over 6 months ago I had my future completely planned out. I knew exactly who I was going to marry and when and the everything else about it. Now I'm going out into the world without any sort of plan. My greatest fear is that I won't find someone that I could realistically want to be with forever and ever. It's a pretty scary thought.

But I just have to take a step back and remember I'm only 20 years old for heavens sake! And what works for others (getting married young) may not be right for me. That's ok!

Someday I will look back on this with my charming and handsome husband and laugh at how silly I was. But until then I'll just take deep breathes and blog about it to you all. :)


As Always, Stay Classy
XOXO


Hayley

Living In A Jar

We won't get far, flying circles inside a jar. 

- Death Cab for Cutie

Listening to this song makes me think that we so often are doing this. We fly around a small confined space looking out at the world and not understanding why we can see it but can't reach it.

The worst part is that so often we confine ourselves you these jars. We are scared of what will happen if we leave the safe confines of our comfort zone. For some of us it's that we don't believe in ourselves. For others it's that they're scared of what others will think of them.

Source

I think this happens not only in relationships but it all aspects of our lives. We're scared to apply for that big internship/job because we may get turned down. We're scared to move to a new city because we don't know anyone. Or go to a college your friends aren't going to.

Let me be the first to say that I have spent much of my life inside of a jar. I convinced myself that the unknown was something to be frightened of. What I've learned is that stepping off into the unknown can be a beautiful thing!!

My unknown was going to school 3 hours from home where I didn't know anyone. But going for that adventure has taught me so many things and introduced me to so many incredible people I would have never otherwise met!

So I encourage you to look closely at your surroundings and see if you to are limiting your opportunities and potential. If you are do something to change that! I challenge you to go outside of your comfort zone and see what can come of it!

If you do please let me know about it. I would love to hear your stories!



As Always, Stay Classy
XOXO


Hayley

Basket of Broken Eggs

In a recent conversation I was having with a guy friend he told me something so true, "All you girls put all your eggs in one basket and when shit starts to go sour you freak out." Not only did it entertain me immensely but I realized it was also so true!!

Cute eggs!!

It got me thinking that as girls we do put all our hopes in one thing, usually one guy, then when it doesn't work out we are crushed. Why do we constantly do this to ourselves? We obviously learn that it's not good idea the first time it happens, yet we consistently do it over and over again.

What is it about us as women that makes us consistently do things that we know are bad for us? We date the jerks. We forgive the cheaters. We trust the players. Yet almost every time exactly what we knew would happen, happens.

I think it's that all of us try to believe in the good in people.


We think every frog has the potential to be our prince charming when the truth of the matter is that a lot of them are just frogs. 


But while we continue to let ourselves get hurt by "putting all our eggs in one basket" I honestly can't say I wouldn't want it any other way. Sure all my eggs may get broken when he turns out to not be as amazing as I thought but I wouldn't want to miss out by not giving everything my all. 


I believe in living life to the fullest and that means putting my all into everything I do. Holding back because we're scared of getting hurt only hurts us more in the long run. 


So I challenge you to try and give everything your all be fearless! We have to hurt to feel the high of real unconditional love. 




As Always, Stay Classy
XOXO


Classy

Actions Speak Louder Than Words But....

We've all heard the saying actions speak louder than words. But just because we don't necessarily go through with our actions doesn't mean that our words don't still hurt. Sometimes we think we are saying things in private or even just in our thoughts. But our feelings always have a way of coming out.

Source

I recently unintentionally hurt someone and their reputation by words that I thought would never get back to them. Every action has a equal reaction. So even when we say things that we don't truly mean someone can still get hurt.

All I can say is think always before you act. Women have a bad tendency to let their emotions take over and do the thinking for them but don't forget to still use your brain even when you are upset!!

That's all I have to say for you guys today. Hope you can learn from my mistakes!



As Always, Keep it Classy
XOXO


Classy

The Boy She Met Online

Ok if you recognize the title The Boy She Met Online as being a lifetime movie that is about, wait for it.... about a girl who met a boy online, then you are amazing!! I am a huge lifetime movie fan mostly because they give titles that say directly what they are about. But this post is not to talk about how magical that movie was (which is was). This post is to talk about the frightening yet interesting world of online dating.

Sure you were...

I have to admit I absolutely love the couple on the eharmony commercials. They seem so happy and believable!! I realize that the couples probably are all actors that have never met that person before but let me just pretend that it's real.

I know that online dating used to be considered a shameful thing to do but with our increasingly technological world it's starting to make more sense.

This is hilarious!!

Heck, I am only 20 years old and have only been single for 5 months (Wow! Had no idea it was that long.) but online dating is starting to look kind of appealing. Not saying that I will do it but if I can find a guy as hot and sincere seeming as the ones on the commercials I'll give a shot.

So for those of us on the fence about online dating I have listed the five reasons to GO FOR IT and the five reasons to DON'T DO IT.

GO FOR IT


1. Easy way to meet lots of singles
2. Easily tell if they are gansta or not.
Ex: "Wat ^ gurl? U lokn fly." Reply:...... (don't reply to that!)
3. Find people with similar interests.
4. They are putting their profile online too so you won't seem that desperate!
5. Narrow done by qualities you want

DON'T DO IT


1. They may not actually be a single
2. They may not be an attractive, wealthy 26 year old man
3. They may not be a man at all....
4. People are different online than in person
5. OK they could be major creeps

So clearly a lot of people have had success with online dating and you may be one of those people!! Just decide what will fit your lifestyle best. And ALWAYS be safe when meeting strangers in real life. Always tell your friends/family where you are going. Meet in a public place. Never let them pick up. Set up a check in time with a friend to tell them everything is ok.

If you choose to venture into the world of online dating just be sure to stay act like a classy lady and not a crazy one like this girl.

Enjoy!!!

Compliments from a Brother

For this story to make sense I must first let you all know that I'm a small town girl from a primarily white community. The first black kid we ever had in school wasn't till high school so moving to Kansas City was a major culture shock to me. I'll be the first to tell you that I think everyone is equal black, white, or purple we're all the same when you turn us inside out. But there are some definite cultural differences in what lingo we use and what is socially acceptable.

My campus is probably a mix of as many whites as blacks. And let me tell you I am just now getting used to these daily ego boosts. I love walking through the lobby of my dorm and having boys tell you how great you are looking. It's amazing, white guys take note!!

But sometimes we get lost in translation on some of the compliments. For instance we had a discussion today with my friend that I will call J about a compliment he gave us. 

Source

J said that one of my girls was thick and she took that as being called fat! So of course she got upset and was horribly offended that he called her fat. The funny part was that he meant it as a compliment. When it comes to black boys being called thick is a good thing. 

Here's how he explained it: Guys don't want a girl that's to skinny. She has to have some meat on her bones (aka a booty) and that means she's thick but it's hott!!

Growing up I've always been taught thin is pretty but honestly I kind of like this meat on your bones philosophy. I wouldn't consider myself a girl with body image issues but I will admit I have felt the pressure to be a skinny minnie. I love that there is an entire race of people that appreciate women for being real and having real bodies!

Not to say that we shouldn't be healthy but 100 lbs isn't healthy for a lot of girls so they shouldn't have to feel like they need to meet that standard. 

I guess overall I just wanted to say that I appreciate guys appreciating me every once in a while regardless of race or whatever. It just so happens that black guys do it more. 

So when you get a compliment, even if you don't quite understand it, take it and say thanks and let it brighten your day!

As Always, Stay Classy

XOXO

Classy 

Zooey Deschanel: Making Quirky Cool

If you have ever seen Zooey Deschanel in her latest show New Girl you can probably guess exactly what this post is going to be about. Even if you have seen her in anything else she is in Yes Man, 500 Days of Summer, The Happening, and Almost Famous you'll understand that she is probably the cutest quirky girl there is.

Source

But what I love about her is that she girls the awkward girl a fighting chance! Not only is she known for her quirkiness on screen but also the fact that she's gorgeous and such a likable character. 

As a girl or even just a person that would like to fit in, in society I can understand the pressure to be "normal." I've never considered myself to be sexy or suave so I feel like it was a major struggle through my early teens to try and be what I was "supposed to be." 

Laughing to loudly, being clumsy, telling those dead end stories that aren't so funny, these are all things that I tried to hide because I didn't want to be weird. What I think Zooey has done is make all those things that would seem out of place desirable qualities. 

Guys now openly appreciate and admire girls with a little extra pizzazz. Which means there is hope for girls like me and I'm sure many others!! 

Source

So let this be my official declaration that awkwardness is in!!

Take a page out of Zooey's character, Jess's book and cry while watching Dirty Dancing over and over and over and over.... Make up a song to sing about everything. Most of all just be yourself and don't be afraid of what that is!!

As Always, Keep it Classy

XOXO

Classy 

Keeping it Classy at the Club

While the title of this post may seem to be an oxymoron it in fact is possible to be classy at the club/bar. Many girls don't really make any sort of attempt to have any class at all which accounts for why we have such a negative perception. For those girls that really just want to go dance and have fun here are some tips to act and look classy at the club/bar.

Dane Cook's: I just wanna dance skit. Sooo true!!

• Dress how you would like to be treated- The problem with so many girls that go to the club is that they dress like hookers. If you want men to just treat you like a piece of meat or you're looking for a one night stand then by all means displaying all the goods is the way to go. But if that's not the impression you want to give off then don't dress like it is. Simple as that. 

• Sloppy drunk is never cute- After that 5th shot of tequila you may feel like you look like a million bucks but chances are you're not looking nearly as great as you think. You will either embarrass yourself or just attract the wrong type of guys. It's totally fine to be drinking but make sure to know you're limit so that you don't become sloppy.

• Never, I repeat NEVER go alone- Clubs and bars are full of strangers that probably mostly have bad intentions. When you mix this with alcohol you have a dangerous combination. The rule I have with my girls is that we come together, we leave together, no exceptions. Unless of course it's a boyfriend or someone you already have know. But leaving with a stranger sounds like something you'll hear on 60 Minutes the next night. 

• You are not obligated to dance with anyone- The social etiquette at a club or bar is much different than at most any other social setting. It's ok to just approach a girl with no conversation or even interest shown from her. This being said it's totally ok to just deny a guy with no explanation. So don't feel bad about hurting their feelings.

• Boys will go as far as you let them- This not only applies to the club or bar but also to most any situation with men. You are in control of you're own body so never let someone force you to do anything you don't want them to do even if it's just them feeling you up. You can say no at anytime!!

While I feel like most of these things are common sense a lot of girls seem to ignore them and then complain about not getting respect from boys. So just some helpful hints for you all. But remember if you call yourself a classy lady you better act like one at all places public!!

As Always, Keep it Classy

XOXO

Classy

The Importance of Telling the Truth

Confession, I absolutely HATE disappointing people or hurting their feelings. I can't stand telling someone no about anything. Sometimes in my pursuit to be nice I end up being way more cruel than I really actually intended to be.

Source

A great example of this is a guy that has liked me for several months that I have been avoiding telling that he has no chance for a relationship. I have known that I would never date actually date this guy all along yet I wouldn't ever just straight up tell him this. 

I guess I just thought that if I kept ignoring his texts he would get the hint but after trying that for several weeks it clearly wasn't going to work. 

This back and forth has been going on for a few months and it was my New Year's resolution to finally tell this guy that he didn't actually have a chance. I thought it would be terrible but turns out he was totally ok with just being friends and appreciated my honesty in just telling him.

So ends up that I yet through a lot more trouble than was actually necessary. I guess the moral is that if you have something you need to say then just say it. Honesty is almost always the best policy!!

As Always, Keep it Classy

XOXO

Classy

Giving Change A Chance

While I desperately wish that I was an exciting and adventurous girl that runs off to climb a mountain or flies to New York to meet a stranger on a whim I sadly am not. Occasionally I will do something spontaneous but mostly I like things to stay just the way the are.

I HATE change. I hate having to start every school year new with new classes, teachers, friends. I would cry almost every semester for the first week because I hated that awkward getting back into the rhythm of things period.

Source

So naturally when preparing to come back to school for winter break after not seeing anyone for a month and knowing that lots of things have changed I was scared to death. I loved last semester. I liked my classes. I liked that we had our set time we ate lunch everyday and every Sunday night was movie night. Coming back was going to feel like starting all over again.

Now here's the wild part. I came back to campus and it was amazing there was nothing to be afraid of. Sure some friends were gone but there were so many still here that were over joyed to see me. Even though time has passed it was like nothing had changed, probably because in reality nothing had.

In my very first class instead of the usual awkwardly trying to find somewhere to sit because you don't know anyone and you just feel so uncomfortable I walked in to see that I knew nearly every person in the class. Not only that but my best friend has all of the same classes I do.

This was radically different for me then the scene last year when I was miserable most of the semester because I had no friends in my classes and no one to sit with in the cafeteria. I thought that changing from that was to scary.

Thank god I took a chance and transferred to the school I'm at now because I couldn't be anymore happy. I am truly where I belong and I am so incredibly lucky to be here.

So the moral to this little personal rant (sorry about that) is that sometimes we have to take a chance and make a change to get what we really want and find what will make us happy.

I know that change is scary but what's even scarier is that you may be missing out on so many opportunities to be happier because you're frightened! So the next time you're on the brink of making a big decision to change something GO FOR IT!!!


As Alway, Stay Classy
XOXO


Classy