Searching for Love in Likes

Thinking back to seventh grade, when I told my best friend I had fallen in love because of a mutual fondness for Dr. Pepper, I realize that we often time are looking for the wrong things when trying to find love. When you meet someone and go and peruse their social media profiles, you know you all do it, the things that jump out at you most are probably your shared interests. You thing Mumford and Sons are awesome and he also thinks Mumford and Son's is awesome, it's a perfect match!

Source

While it may sound silly simplified to that extent, think about it. How many times have you found yourself having a conversation with a person you may be interested in about just the things you have in common? The shared interest in music, movies, food, all petty and quite honestly meaningless things about them and yourself.

I think a major problem this generation is suffering from, at least in the romance department, is defining ourselves by our interests rather than who you are. Social media and a list of our virtual "likes" perpetrate the problem further.

Shared interests are maybe a great way to get a conversation started or to find an activity to bond over, but we seem to confuse them with the substance that can build a relationship. Unless you are writing a thesis on the impact of The Godfather on the perception of the mafia in popular culture, there is not much about that being your favorite movie that defines you as a person (even though it displays an excellent taste in movies!).

But seriously, Marlon Brando, amazing.

Think of how many millions of people listen to the same music, watch the same movies, and enjoy the same food as you. My chances of walking outside and running into someone of the opposite sex that has watched and enjoyed the same movie as me is extremely probable, and I'm in a foreign country!

The point I am making here is that we should center the conversation around getting to know people's passions rather than their pop culture interests. Knowing what drives a person tells you significantly more about their character than the fact that you both like spicy foods.

That being said, it should encourage you to look for people outside of your general scope of thinking. For example, just because I am an aspiring writer who enjoys 90s pop, that doesn't mean a computer programmer that likes bluegrass couldn't be my perfect match values wise.

So stop defining yourself by what your Facebook page says you're interested in and start going off of what makes you get out of bed every morning, whatever that may be. The change could very well help you find the right places to be looking.


As Always, Stay Classy
XOXO

Hayley Kiah

Catfish: Can you love a stranger?

Just another show in MTV's long list of forgettable reality series, Catfish has seemed to have struck a cord with us. Meeting someone online isn't all that hard in our digital age. But the idea of falling in love with them and talking to them for years without proof of who they are sounds a little far fetched.

For those of you that have better things to do than watch MTV and are unaware of what Catfish is, here is a brief summary. Basically it is a show based on connecting long term online lovers. The team comes in and films everything as they investigate their mystery lovers. Then they try to get ahold of them and have them meet in person. Sometimes it's girls pretending to be boys or vice versa, or sometimes they just don't hit it off like they thought they would, on rare occasion it actually works out.

So how can it be possible to be in love with someone you've never met? Or is it even possible? I would have to say that in my opinion I don't think you can really truly be "in love" with someone you haven't physically spent time with. You miss out on all the little unspoken things about them that create the bond of love.

But why then are so many people open to loving strangers they have never met and may never meet? I think it really speaks to the loneliness our generation feels. Are we really that desperate to find love that we are willing to create it with a stranger? Apparently so.

Someone you will never meet can never judge you for you flaws or imperfections. They will only love you for the parts of you that you let them see. It's so much safer than real life. You can place all your hopes and dreams into that person and be relatively confident you won't get hurt.

I'm sure the idea of meeting this person they have created this fantasy with is somewhat appealing. Why else would they go on the show. But often times it seems like there fantasy doesn't match up with reality.

I guess the moral of the story is that we can't let ourselves be so scared of the real world that we choose to live solely in online relationships. Sometimes reality hurts but that's just a chance you have to take to experience real life the way you should.




As Always, Stay Classy
XOXO

Hayley

Do soul mates exist?

Do you believe in soul mates? That there is one person on the whole earth that is your exact match and perfect counter balance? It's a pretty difficult concept to imagine that in a world of over 7 billion people and growing their is one person created specifically for you.

I'm a romantic but even I have lived most of my life under the impression that there are multiple "loves of your life." When you meet one of these people they will make you happy but you will never be any the wiser if there is a person that can possibly make you even happier out there. That's how it is possible to love multiple people in your lifetime and on unfortunate occasions at the same time.

But recently I have came tot the belief that my theories on soul mates have been wrong. I think there can be one person, one soul that is your perfect match. My opinion has changed because I personally think I have some how located my match or rather he found me (that's what he would say).

 I couldn't tell you how I know honestly, except that you can feel it, deep inside of you that they are perfectly made for you and that everything you have done in your life has been leading to this one person.

As I've gotten older, though I'm definitely not old by any means, I've come to realize that what is most important to a relationship is your values and what really makes you at your core. It's no that you both have the same favorite band or that you do the same sport, it's that what defines you is the same as what defines them.

For myself my family probably my biggest priority. When you date me you also "date" my siblings. With my current boyfriend he feels the exact same way about his family and he has actually gotten to know my sister also. I can't even begin to explain how much that means to me. But that's for another post to expain.

The moral of my story is that I have a renewed faith in relationships and in soul mates.

I know many of my followers are in a long term relationships or married and I'm curious if you think that you are with your soulmate?

But not to leave my single girls out, do you think finding your soul mate is possible?

Mr. Perfect has made an appearance!

I haven’t been able to post because guess what!! I got my own house with my baby sister! We still haven’t gotten Wi-Fi yet so I have to post this from my parent’s house. It should be up and running soon so I can continue to give you all the details! I will post about that tomorrow with picture but I have an even better topic today.

You all are very much aware of my single status. I post about it often enough! It’s been about 9 months or so since I’ve had a boyfriend. Only the way there have been a plethora of interested guys and guys I was interested in.

There were jerks, liars, duds, and just plain odd guys along the way. But none of them really seemed like anyone to get to worked up over in the end. There was never one that was like I real say the potential to have a real relationship with.

Until now!

If you follow my twitter you may have noticed that practically all I have been tweeting about recently is this wonderful boy I have recently met. And let me tell you he is absolutely perfect I mean I literally could not have dreamed up a better guy than this.

He did debate (like me), he’s a swimmer, in the air force, extremely intelligent, funny, sweet, and actually within a few hours of me (or will be soon). But the best part is he’s Catholic too! An actual practicing one not a I-Was-Baptisted-But-I-Haven’t-Stepped-Foot-In-A-Church-Since-Was-5-Catholic.

The exact moment I realized he was something special was when he practically recited parts of the Geneva Convention to me during a discussion about the treatment of terrorists. We’re just a tad nerdy, but seriously how many other guys would even want to talk about that much less know so much about it!

He said it was when I said I was catholic and that I liked guns. I guess that’s the country girl in me overcoming my liberal side. Currently he is on the West coast so unfortunately we won’t be able to see each other till sometime in June when he comes back into the area.

Until, then thank goodness for cell phones and skype!!

So you all should probably get prepared for an onslaught of mushy posts all about him but I can’t say that I’m sorry about it!

Dang you Mr. Darcy!!

If you guys haven't caught on yet I am a little obsessed with Pride and Prejudice, namely Mr. Darcy. I am seriously going to name my children after the characters. Bennet, Darcy, is Pemberly a cute name? Clearly I have issues but that's not what this is about.

I think Mr. Darcy's character has give us horribly skewed ideas about romantic relationship and men (what's new with Hollywood?). The thing is that he isn't made out to be an absolutely perfect man like most movies, that's why it's so deceptive.

Initially Mr. Darcy is a pretentious, pompous jerk. I love him but I'll admit it he thought he was much to good for Elizabeth's crazy family. I feel like her family is just like mine. We are so crazy!! But then he turns out to be a really great guy that actually does a lot of nice things for the Bennets.

While this is absolutely lovely to the romantic story (thanks Jane Austen :)) it isn't very realistic at all.

The problem is that we are lead to believe that guys that are jerks are really going to be fabulously romantic and tell us that they love-- love-- love us. But really they are probably just jerks and we shouldn't waste our time.

So while I love Mr. Darcy so dearly I have to admit to myself that he is a fictional character that is loosely based on a guy that loved Jane Austen (not me sadly). So even though I say I'm on a pursuit for my own Mr. Darcy the truth is that I should really be on a pursuit for my own Mr. Right.

Single ladies: don't let your image of what your perfect guy should be cloud your vision from seeing when he is right in front of you.

The Power of Puppy Love

I apologize all for the brief hiatus from blogging. School has been so crazy lately!! I promise to try and blog at LEAST every other day hoping everyday but I don't want to make promises I can't keep. Hope you all enjoy. I look forward to catching up with your lives!

We've all heard the expression puppy love and most of us blow it off as being nothing but kids infatuation. But what if puppy love is more real than we all make it out to be?

During our pre-teens and teens (weird that I'm not a teen anymore!) we are going through crazy hormonal changes and our emotions are at an all time high. Technically speaking this seems like we should have an emotional capacity to love much more (chemical) than at any other point in our lives.

I remember in middle school the crushes I had and the feelings I felt were like nothing I have ever experienced. When a boy didn't like me it was nearly the end of the world. Whereas now it hurts I cry and I'm done with it. Maybe I've grown up and learned how to handle it better I'm not sure.

What brought all this up is the fact that I recently ran into my long time grade school crush after not seeing him since graduation. This boy is exactly the type of guy you would fall in love with forever in school. Attractive, super athletic, charming. He was captain of the football team, student body president, the works. I have volumes of diaries devoted to this boy and countless hours spent wishing he would like me.

Seeing him and finding out that he, like myself, is also single made a flood of emotions just like I was back in 6th grade when I found out he didn't like the pretty girl in our class. Maybe I'm crazy but I feel like my puppy love for this boy has literally lasted me for the past 15 years.

For your guys amusement I also professed my undying crush to this boy and described the outfit he had been wearing the first day of school kindergarten. Luckily he thought it was really flattering and not creepy.

But do you all think grade school crushes are in some ways the real deal or are they just a bunch of silly emotions?

Ridiculous Obsession with Love

If you recognize the title as a line from Moulin Rouge then kudos to you! It's a fantastic movie and if you don't go watch it. 


I'll be the first to admit I am obsessed with the idea of love. Tonight I was watching the movie City of Angels, the one with Meg Ryan and Nicholas Cage, with some pals and I just started bawling when Nick started talking about how just one kiss with Meg was worth giving up eternity.

Seriously so romantic

In the middle of my cry/laughing because I was crying fest I yelled: "I just want to be loved!!"

But why am I and basically every other single person on the plant so obsessed with the idea of being in love? I can't really answer that other than that being with someone that completes you must be the best thing in the whole world so we strive to have that.

The craziest part is that when we are in love we take it for granted. I think we forget how difficult the journey to get there was. All the work that goes into loving someone and accepting their faults and flaws. It's not easy! But once we're there we think, Love? Ha. I could find love with someone else easy!

Then we become single and realize that's not the case at all. Love isn't a something that comes along everyday. It can't be delivered at your door step with your morning paper. It's something that has to find you or be found. That's what makes it so special.

I feel like sometimes we take how special love it for granted. We look around and see tons of people in love everyday so that must mean it's common-place when really it's nothing short of extraordinary that two people were able to find each other and then find that spark and THEN want to put effort forth to make things work!

So I guess what this post really has turned into is that you should never take love for granted. Never forget the work you put in to get there and be thankful you have it.

As for me, I'm only 20 and I've already been in love once. That's pretty lucky if you ask me. Even though it didn't pan out I have to rest of my life to find the real true love and when I do you can bet I'll cherish it.



As Always, Stay Classy
XOXO


Hayley

How Far Would You Go?

How far would you go for what could potentially be love? As I talked about in my post The Boy She Meet Online, meeting people online isn't that taboo anymore. So does this mean that we have a greater chance of finding our soulmate than we ever did before?

When I was younger (And way to into deep thinking!) I used to worry that the love of my life could be across the world where I could never possibly find him. But now that has become much less of a problem because it doesn't matter if he's across the world, or the country because through the internet I can still find him.

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But how far would you go for this chance at love? Would you fly half way across the country to meet a stranger in the hopes that they could be your perfect match?

I mean I suppose you were answering that question yes when you began to talk to someone that you knew was far away. But what if it is simply the glamour of falling for a stranger that attracts you more than the actual compatibility.

I realize I've just asked a lot of questions and have given absolutely zero answers. But the thing is that I don't have any answers to give you just yet.

Maybe it's being scared of taking a chance or even of something actually working, of actually falling in love with someone that holds us back from doing crazy things. I constantly encourage you all to take chances and do things you never dreamed you would do, so many it's time I took that advice for myself and finally did something crazy.

This gives me a lot to think about... I apologize for the nonsensical rant but I appreciate any thoughts you may have on the matter!!


As Always, Stay Classy
XOXO

Hayley
 (using my real name now! Exciting!!)

I pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Gosling

It's no secret that I, like millions of other women around the country, am absolutely obsessed with Ryan Gosling. My infatuation would go into stalker mode if I had the free time and he used his twitter. I will mention though that I do tweet @ him frequently in the hope that one day when he does check his twitter he will see that I'm his one true love. Not counting on it though.

Yum: Source

But what is about him that has got us all so obsessed?? In all honesty if I just saw him on the street and he wasn't a famous actor I can't say that I would really notice him. He's not even always attractive in all his roles like for instance in his movie Blue Valentine he doesn't look to hot. He plays a middle aged washout that's balding and failing at his marriage.

Still love him: Source

I think our crazy obsession with Ryan can be narrowed down to one simple fact. He was and always will be Noah. No woman can deny the sexiness of a man that just wants you and that will do anything to be with you. 

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What's interesting is that this movie was not the first love story. It wasn't the first time we saw a movie where a man fought to be with the women he loved. Truly very little about this story was original in the sense that it hadn't been done before. 

Yet despite all that The Notebook struck a chord with us and reserved Ryan Gosling's spot as the sexiest man alive in my book for eternity. 

I guess what made The Notebook so special to us was that Ryan Gosling's role of Noah made us BELIEVE in real love. He convinced us that we deserve a man that will write us a letter everyday and that will build us a house! He was realistic that love is never perfect and is going to be difficult. 

"So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day."

There is really nothing else I can say. Noah's quote says it all. Hopefully this helps shed some light on why women are sooooo obsessed with Ryan Gosling!!

As Always, Stay Classy

XOXO

Classy

PS. Comment on what your favorite Ryan movie is!! I want to know!

Where are you soulmate??

This was a post I wrote back when I was a freshman in high school. Man, did I have deep thoughts on life at 15. Sadly though not much has really changed! 

There are over 7 billion people in the world as of the last census.

         Out of those 7 billion people how are we expected to find that one individual that completes us?                                 And on top of that at the right time. Sometimes it feels like we all just settle because we're sick of searching. Not that the person we settled for is bad its just not everything it could be.

        But how absurd is this whole true love thing! I when what if my soul mate is like in some obscure African tribe that has never heard of the United States? Then that just means I'm screwed! I worry that I'm either being to picky and I need to just settle with what I have or that I'm not being picky enough and I'm going to miss the love of my life.                           


Its ridiculously challenging.

I believe he's out there. Somewhere. I just don't know if I'll ever find him and that uncertainty is incredibly unsettling.

Sigh.... life.

Hope you enjoyed this little insight into my head!


As Always, Keep it Classy






XOXO
Classy