Searching for Love in Likes

Thinking back to seventh grade, when I told my best friend I had fallen in love because of a mutual fondness for Dr. Pepper, I realize that we often time are looking for the wrong things when trying to find love. When you meet someone and go and peruse their social media profiles, you know you all do it, the things that jump out at you most are probably your shared interests. You thing Mumford and Sons are awesome and he also thinks Mumford and Son's is awesome, it's a perfect match!

Source

While it may sound silly simplified to that extent, think about it. How many times have you found yourself having a conversation with a person you may be interested in about just the things you have in common? The shared interest in music, movies, food, all petty and quite honestly meaningless things about them and yourself.

I think a major problem this generation is suffering from, at least in the romance department, is defining ourselves by our interests rather than who you are. Social media and a list of our virtual "likes" perpetrate the problem further.

Shared interests are maybe a great way to get a conversation started or to find an activity to bond over, but we seem to confuse them with the substance that can build a relationship. Unless you are writing a thesis on the impact of The Godfather on the perception of the mafia in popular culture, there is not much about that being your favorite movie that defines you as a person (even though it displays an excellent taste in movies!).

But seriously, Marlon Brando, amazing.

Think of how many millions of people listen to the same music, watch the same movies, and enjoy the same food as you. My chances of walking outside and running into someone of the opposite sex that has watched and enjoyed the same movie as me is extremely probable, and I'm in a foreign country!

The point I am making here is that we should center the conversation around getting to know people's passions rather than their pop culture interests. Knowing what drives a person tells you significantly more about their character than the fact that you both like spicy foods.

That being said, it should encourage you to look for people outside of your general scope of thinking. For example, just because I am an aspiring writer who enjoys 90s pop, that doesn't mean a computer programmer that likes bluegrass couldn't be my perfect match values wise.

So stop defining yourself by what your Facebook page says you're interested in and start going off of what makes you get out of bed every morning, whatever that may be. The change could very well help you find the right places to be looking.


As Always, Stay Classy
XOXO

Hayley Kiah

Do soul mates exist?

Do you believe in soul mates? That there is one person on the whole earth that is your exact match and perfect counter balance? It's a pretty difficult concept to imagine that in a world of over 7 billion people and growing their is one person created specifically for you.

I'm a romantic but even I have lived most of my life under the impression that there are multiple "loves of your life." When you meet one of these people they will make you happy but you will never be any the wiser if there is a person that can possibly make you even happier out there. That's how it is possible to love multiple people in your lifetime and on unfortunate occasions at the same time.

But recently I have came tot the belief that my theories on soul mates have been wrong. I think there can be one person, one soul that is your perfect match. My opinion has changed because I personally think I have some how located my match or rather he found me (that's what he would say).

 I couldn't tell you how I know honestly, except that you can feel it, deep inside of you that they are perfectly made for you and that everything you have done in your life has been leading to this one person.

As I've gotten older, though I'm definitely not old by any means, I've come to realize that what is most important to a relationship is your values and what really makes you at your core. It's no that you both have the same favorite band or that you do the same sport, it's that what defines you is the same as what defines them.

For myself my family probably my biggest priority. When you date me you also "date" my siblings. With my current boyfriend he feels the exact same way about his family and he has actually gotten to know my sister also. I can't even begin to explain how much that means to me. But that's for another post to expain.

The moral of my story is that I have a renewed faith in relationships and in soul mates.

I know many of my followers are in a long term relationships or married and I'm curious if you think that you are with your soulmate?

But not to leave my single girls out, do you think finding your soul mate is possible?

Where are you soulmate??

This was a post I wrote back when I was a freshman in high school. Man, did I have deep thoughts on life at 15. Sadly though not much has really changed! 

There are over 7 billion people in the world as of the last census.

         Out of those 7 billion people how are we expected to find that one individual that completes us?                                 And on top of that at the right time. Sometimes it feels like we all just settle because we're sick of searching. Not that the person we settled for is bad its just not everything it could be.

        But how absurd is this whole true love thing! I when what if my soul mate is like in some obscure African tribe that has never heard of the United States? Then that just means I'm screwed! I worry that I'm either being to picky and I need to just settle with what I have or that I'm not being picky enough and I'm going to miss the love of my life.                           


Its ridiculously challenging.

I believe he's out there. Somewhere. I just don't know if I'll ever find him and that uncertainty is incredibly unsettling.

Sigh.... life.

Hope you enjoyed this little insight into my head!


As Always, Keep it Classy






XOXO
Classy