To understand why I'm having this meltdown I have to tell you a little about myself. I am one of the least spontaneous people you will ever meet. I mean deciding to get ice cream on a whim is probably about as crazy as I get.
Today we had this guest speaker aptly named Othello who was incredible and has really made me think about my life and what I'm doing with it. He basically challenged me to rethink everything I am doing. I realized that I HATE the fact that I don't do things when I want to do them.
I have never just jumped in my car and driven some where unplanned. This lead to me temporarily wanting to runaway from school to the beach. I would have had it not been for the fact that I have so many incredible friends I can't leave behind.
I thought about this all day. Am I doing things because I want to do them or because I think it's what I'm supposed to do. Sometimes the burden of being responsibly and a good student becomes heavy! Can you blame me for wanting to not be a perfectionist sometimes?
But after talking with some wise friends I realized that the only way I can have the freedom to do whatever I want is if I work hard now. Someday when I have a career (aka more money than a college student) I'll be able to go on trips. Hopefully with someone special.
So right now having to endure school and internships (none of which are bad just a lot of work) but I can look forward to how much brighter of a future this will lead me too!!
I really hope I'm not the only one that has experienced this crisis before!
I have a job and steady income, and yet I have this mental crisis every week! It would be so nice to just run away for a day, but the money never seems to be there :( I recommend living it up while you are still in college bc once your job starts, you have so many financial obligations that you can't ever just get away.
ReplyDeleteI worked hard in college and never did the spring breaks or took spontaneous trips, and I regret it now bc I had your mindset! Do it now before you get tied down to your career!
You are right!! If you work hard now things will come in the very near future! I finished my school and I was a perfectionist like you..now I do stuff on a whim all the time and it is great!! Hold strong and don't do anything you'll regret in the future and it will pay off!!
ReplyDeleteKeep your head up! I consider myself to be pretty spontaneous so I try to live my life with no regrets. Even though it may seem like you're stuck in a rut now, its best to do what you can now so you can live freely in the future.
ReplyDeleteJust try and sneak in a few spontaneous moments here and there to rejuvenate yourself! Do a cartwheel in a park or eat somewhere you've never tried before!
♥ Duckie.
http://frikkenduckie.blogspot.com
This post made me giggle, but only because I can COMPLETELY relate. I'm a planner to a T. So doing something on a whim isn't like me at all. Maybe I'll try being more spontaneous....
ReplyDeleteSometimes you have to do what you're "supposed" to do in order to gain the credibility to do what you *want* to do.
ReplyDeleteLike I did my four years of undergrad and earned my shiny degree before moving to France for two years.