To understand why I'm having this meltdown I have to tell you a little about myself. I am one of the least spontaneous people you will ever meet. I mean deciding to get ice cream on a whim is probably about as crazy as I get.
Today we had this guest speaker aptly named Othello who was incredible and has really made me think about my life and what I'm doing with it. He basically challenged me to rethink everything I am doing. I realized that I HATE the fact that I don't do things when I want to do them.
I have never just jumped in my car and driven some where unplanned. This lead to me temporarily wanting to runaway from school to the beach. I would have had it not been for the fact that I have so many incredible friends I can't leave behind.
I thought about this all day. Am I doing things because I want to do them or because I think it's what I'm supposed to do. Sometimes the burden of being responsibly and a good student becomes heavy! Can you blame me for wanting to not be a perfectionist sometimes?
But after talking with some wise friends I realized that the only way I can have the freedom to do whatever I want is if I work hard now. Someday when I have a career (aka more money than a college student) I'll be able to go on trips. Hopefully with someone special.
So right now having to endure school and internships (none of which are bad just a lot of work) but I can look forward to how much brighter of a future this will lead me too!!
I really hope I'm not the only one that has experienced this crisis before!
