The other day I posted about how pleasantly surprised I was when a boy actually treated me with respect and was considerate to me. You can read about it here. Of course all of you lovely readers had some comments to make about it and one really caught my attention and inspired this post:
Candy Cakes @ Single Girl Will Eat Free had this to say:
Yay! It's always nice to be pleasantly surprised. But it begs the question: What we were doing hanging out or "talking" to a guy that we are surprised knows how to behave like a gentleman in the first place? Lol. No judgement doll, I'm still guilty of it ALL the TIME.
That's a really fantastic question! Why are we even giving these guys the time of day?
I think I found part of the answer while talking with one of my Twitter pen pals @TrophyTrainee (she's a great girl to follow!). She said that girls like guys that are jerks because we want to be the one that changes them. I guess it's just our nurturing nature. We want to be the person to change them and make them better.
Just like how our mom's always were able to "fix" everything we want to help fix them. The thing is though that people are who they are and that can't change, at least not by force.
A person will change in a relationship because they are growing with you not because you are trying to make them someone they are not. So maybe instead of looking for guys we can make perfect we should be dating the guys that ARE perfect for us. Or at least aren't jerks.
So the moral is what we all already knew. Jerks will always be jerks. Sometimes we just need a little reminder that it is not our job or responsibility to change them!
I think I found part of the answer while talking with one of my Twitter pen pals @TrophyTrainee (she's a great girl to follow!). She said that girls like guys that are jerks because we want to be the one that changes them. I guess it's just our nurturing nature. We want to be the person to change them and make them better.
Just like how our mom's always were able to "fix" everything we want to help fix them. The thing is though that people are who they are and that can't change, at least not by force.
A person will change in a relationship because they are growing with you not because you are trying to make them someone they are not. So maybe instead of looking for guys we can make perfect we should be dating the guys that ARE perfect for us. Or at least aren't jerks.
So the moral is what we all already knew. Jerks will always be jerks. Sometimes we just need a little reminder that it is not our job or responsibility to change them!
Love your moral of the story..
ReplyDeleteKepp up the good work. I love reading your posts. Malika
LOVE it. It's true! Jerks are jerks and good guys end up in the friend zone. Sigh. It's a vicious cycle. The moral of that story? The real change we need to be making is in ourselves!
ReplyDeleteIt is so true that you can't change people. It's a hard lesson for some but we all have to learn it. :-)
ReplyDeleteJayme @ Her Late Night Cravings
Makes sense. I think I am definitely one of those women who always wants to try and change and even "fix" people. I really need to stop. LOL.
ReplyDelete