The First 24

This is being posted a day late due to my lack of wi-fi at the original host family house. 

Hola! I’ve survived my first 24 hours in Buenos Aires, quite splendidly actually and all without even a single tear! I’m not sure what I was expecting, but I thought it would be harder/scarier than this. Sure I’ve given many a person the deer in the headlights stare, but it’s been easier than I expected it to be.

People have always told me, about going abroad, that people will know English, which may be true if you go to tourist areas. But I am living in Belgrano soon to move to Palermo which are both residential barrios (neighborhoods).       Tourists typically do not venture out this far so me expecting them to know English is just like if we were expected to know Spanish everywhere we went in the US.

What I’ve figured out is that I should expect just as many people to understand English as people that would understand Spanish in just a regular neighborhood in the US. So not very many people. They seem to know a couple basic words (sometimes). Like everyone on the subway said excuse me instead of saying it in Spanish after they heard me talking to another student in English.

You don’t realize how often you say words like okay and yes automatically without thinking about it. It’s been challenging to force myself to say bien and si instead of English. Though I don’t know very much Spanish at all, muy basico, I have been trying to use those few words as frequently as possible to at least get used to saying them.

The city is very interesting. It’s huge and everyone drives like a maniac. There are no real road rules like stop signs or lights or staying in your lane or tailgating. People kind of just do what they want and honk whenever they can’t. It’s a little scary crossing the street, but I’m sort of catching on.

There is also graffiti EVERYWHERE, even though we’re in a nice barrio. It’s kind of weird. Plus people don’t pick up after their dogs, which is definitely gross.

Today I ordered my first dulce de leche all by myself (well with my friend Crystal telling me what to say right before) but I was pretty proud. By the way, dulce de leche is the most amazing thing I’ve ever had in my whole life. I also exchanged money, in Spanish, by myself (no one can come up with you).

Overall though BA is wonderful and I think I’m going to learn fast because no one speaks English and dinner and breakfast are conducted only in Spanish.

To all of mi familia y amigos reading this I love you!

I'm buying a coat and other things I have learned

So much to mine and every other study abroad student's delight it is mucho frio in Buenos Aires! It's not like I was completely ignorant of the fact that it is currently winter in South America. I knew that, but the internet said (my first mistake) that it was going to like 50F at the coldest and probably in the 60s F. It's much more like 40s F during the day, that's not counting how chilly it is at night. My Argentinian Madre even said that it may snow, for the first time in 50 or so years!!! Just my luck!

Drinking hot Argentinian tea

Besides the weather, there are a few other quirky things about Argentina I wasn't expecting, well actually Buenos Aires specifically. Their Spanish is a little odd as in the ll doesn't make the y sound, think "como se llama," you probably said that like yama. In BA it's pronounced shama. The double ll always makes the sha sound. It's kind of weird at first, but you get over after someone says it to you a few times. 

The next thing I had heard about was the Boleches which are the dance clubs. I knew that they were supposed to be crazy but jeez lousie. They're absolutely insane!! And the dancing is like a weird salsa, techno mix, it's not at all typical Americano dance club dancing. Last night I even managed to order a drink solo. I did fine until it came to paying and I couldn't hear a thing the bartender was saying. Combine loud music with very basic Spanish knowledge and you're going to get a lot of que's back and forth. Talking to another person in the Boleche is the worst. I can get through the "como se llama" and "como estas" but then they say something else and I just give them the deer in the headlights and say uhh "no hablo espanol, lo siento!" 

I can't wait till I know enough Spanish to have conversations. The people here are insanely friendly! Men and women alike want to talk to you and know where you are from and what the hell you're doing in the visa office of Buenos Aires. It's really wonderful truly. Last night on the way home from the boleche we met some Argentinian college students and talked with them for probably an hour about school and learning Spanish and music. It was awesome and something that I could never imagine doing in the United States. 

The view from my window. 

You've probably already figured this out by now, but I am in love with Argentina. It's the most incredible city I've ever been in and it already feels like home. But then again that maybe because my host madre is the most incredible woman in the whole world. I said I loved dulce de leche so she went and got some immediately. We've spent the whole day walking around Palermo (our neighbor) checking out the stores, the mall, the bars district and talking about everything. Most of our conversations are 50% Spanish because her English isn't great. It's crazy that just 3 days ago I was completely tongue tied when anyone spoke Spanish to me and now I'm carrying on conversations partly in Spanish. 

The best advice I've gotten so far is to use what words you know. No matter how few words you know use them. To an Argentinian passing by I probably sound really confusing saying half the words in English and my numbers and other words in Spanish. I've even done it on the phone with my mom. I responded si to something she said instead of yes. I realize that's small, but it's a step in the right direction. It's truly incredible how fast our brains can learn. 

I won't bore you anymore with yammering on about random things. Until my next post! 

Besos,

Hayley

It's raining in Houston and other concerns

So instead of writing this post from Buenos Aires as I thought I would I am instead writing while sitting in terminal E of the Houston Airport. In the whole grand scheme of things, it’s not all that bad. Plus it has one of those flat escalator things which are freaking awesome. While I know I should be in Buenos Aires within 24 hours, after last nights events it did not feel like that is going to happen.

            After a lot of laughs and some tearful goodbyes with my family including Greg, Kale, and Meghan who, after all, are practically my family, I waved goodbye and sat down to wait for my flight. Because of thunderstorms in Houston (where my plane was coming from) my first flight was delayed. That delay caused me to miss my connecting flight by 10 minutes, only 10 MINUTES.

            Being the naïve first-time flier that I am, I figured I would be rerouted to a plane that would take me to Buenos Aires that evening. But, unfortunately, because there were no more flights out of Houston for Buenos Aires today I was to be put on a plane to go to Newark, New Jersey and fly for Buenos Aires from there.

            This left me with needing to find a room to stay for the night with which the airport was incredibly unhelpful. They gave me a toll-free number to call to get a hotel. I called the number and never got a real person for about 30 minutes so I gave up and booked myself a hotel through the Expedia App on my phone. Then I went to wait for the shuttle the airline said they were calling to take me to the hotel.

            Then it gets even more fun! I sat and waited for the shuttle for about 30 minutes and saw no hotel shuttles but the one for the Hilton. People kept leaving and grabbing taxi’s so I thought I would do the same. While I was trying to flag a taxi the nice man on the Hilton shuttle said he could take me to the hotel, the Red Roof Inn, suggested by the airline.

When I got there, there were a million other people with delayed flights trying to get their rooms. When I got to the front desk the girl working the counter in a trashy outfit and bad red lipstick said they couldn’t find my reservation, despite the fact that I had my confirmation number!!!! They didn’t have any rooms left available and she moved on to the next customer.

Up until this point, I had kept it together without crying a single tear. I thought I had it handled. But this, I could not deal with. I called my mom sobbing because I had no idea what to do at midnight in the middle of Houston all alone. Luckily I saw a Best Western down the road and made my way through the rain, yes it was also raining, over there.

My first lucky break of the night they had a room, which was extremely clean and comfortable. I didn’t even ask how much it was I just handed him my card. I later found out on the shuttle back to the airport that I got the second to last room they had. Almost all the hotels were booked up due to all the flight delays for the weather.

Since then has been smooth sailing, except not having my hairbrush packed in the carry-on. The shuttle picked me up and took me to the airport quickly where I immediately found a restaurant that sold liquor.

If you ever find yourself in the Houston Airport I would highly recommend Ruby’s Diner. Not only was the service and speed excellent, but it was the best hamburger I’ve ever had in my whole life, no kidding. And the margarita was the perfect amount of alcohol to make me feel better. Sitting in that restaurant I wanted to just burst into tears because something good had finally happened.

Now I will be flying to Newark, New Jersey at 4PM and then leaving for Buenos Aires at 10AM Thursday morning. There the real adventure will begin. But, after all, that I’ve gone through already I think I can handle anything they throw at me.

Besos!!

Hayley

Why fitspo HURTS your fitness goals

For those of you who aren't familiar with the term fitspo, short for fitsporation, it is defined by Urban Dictionary as, "images of active, strong, and fit women that promote proper exercise and diet. May also include images healthy foods." 

Now why would motivational images of healthy people do anything to hinder your fitness goals you might ask? Doesn't it seem like looking at pictures of what you want to achieve, should HELP you be motivated to reach your goals? 

Well at first glance it may seem like a good idea, but in the long run it leaves you feeling inadequate and hopeless, and here's why. 

From Pinterest

1. You will never be someone you're not. 

While images of women that look like goddess may be what you hope to someday be, the plain truth is that it's probably not possible. I'm not particularly overweight, but I fully understand that working out won't make my breast larger or perkier or make my hips fuller. 

How many of these photos that you're finding online are also photoshopped? When you find a picture of a gorgeous woman and decide you're not stopping till you look like that, you set yourself up for failure. After a lot of dieting and working out, even if you are skinner, you're still not ever going to look like that which will make you feel like you failed. 

Rather than inspiring yourself with women you don't know, use your favorite pictures of yourself when you thought you looked great! 


2. Fitspo neglects the fact that you are a human being.

One of my other major beefs with fitspo and most health advice and TV shows is that it ignores the fact that as a human being you do need calories. Most "health" and fitness advice makes it seem as though you need to work off all the calories you consume which is not only unrealistic but dangerously unhealthy. 

Take a look at this info graphic from Women's Health Magazine, a pretty reputable wellness source I would say. But look at what it's telling you. It essentially says that if you eat a donut you have to do 88 minutes of crunches or some silliness. 

While I can agree that yes, glazed donut's are not healthy and have a lot of calories I don't think you should be encouraged to work off exactly the amount of calories you consume. As a part of a normal diet you can eat that donut and still consume a little over 1,200 calories to meet your daily allowance. The idea that you need to punish yourself every time you indulge is ridiculous and will only leave you feeling bad about yourself. 

3. Fitspo doesn't encourage balance.

The final beef (not my last, but the last I will discuss on here) with fitspo is the fact that it treats health and fitness like something you should be thinking about 24-7. If you don't go to the gym today you are a failure, if you eat a hamburger instead of a salad you are a failure. 

This skinny just isn't possible for most of us.

Your health should be a process and a part of your life, but not your whole life. You should be able to enjoy your life and your health rather than consume yourself with working out and dieting. When you start skipping out on social plans for your workouts and let it take over your life you have gone to far. 

The key to a healthy life is balance and moderation, in everything. Including healthy eating and exercise. They shouldn't prevent you from living your life. 

Final Thoughts

So the moral of the story is that being concerned about your health is important but setting unrealistic goals and making it the focus of your entire life goes to far. Being obsessed with fitness and health is just as bad as not being concerned about it at all. 

The best thing to do is to make peace with who you are and understand that it's healthiest state may still not look like Giselle. 


As always, stay classy
XOXO

Hayley

3 Weeks Out

The plane ticket is bought, vaccinations are updated, and papers are signed. Everything is in motion and I can hardly focus on anything but Argentina! I'm a crazy mix of nervous, excited, and anxious to start my adventure over 5,000 miles away from home. In 25 days, I will be leaving the United States for the first time. 

Because I have so many wonderful friends and family that I would like to keep in touch with while I'm gone I thought a blog would be a great way to keep everyone up-to-date on what I'm doing. Plus its part of my requirement for being awarded the Benjamin A. Gilman scholarship (which is awesome!) so I'm killing two birds with one stone so to speak. 

So currently I've been spending all of my time finishing up last minute things I need to do before I leave  the country for 4 months. The list gets a lot longer than you would think! Here are some of the things I'm doing and you should do if you're getting ready to leave:

• Renew all your prescriptions and get enough to last you the whole trip. I'm going to get more contacts so I have plenty for the duration of my time in Argentina.
• Get a haircut! I am really particular about who cuts my hair so I'm going right before I leave to avoid having to find a stylist in Argentina and explaining what I want to be done in a second language. 
• Arrange to pay any bills ahead of time. I have my phone bill set up to pay online so I can easily do it while I'm in South America. 
• Let your bank, phone company, etc know you will be out of the country. This is a major pain in the butt, at least when it comes to the phone company, but you need to let them know you're out of the country to avoid having your accounts frozen or racking up massive charges for being abroad. 
• Find out what essentials you can't get there. So this step is a little more complicated and just requires shifting through some google searches but I have a feeling it will be well worth my time. Depending on where you are going certain things may not be available. Apparently feminine hygiene products and hand sanitizer are more difficult to get in South America so you should bring some with you. That's a pretty good thing to know!
• Read, read, read!! One of the biggest things I've been doing is reading websites and other blogs about Argentinian culture, customs, and tips for traveling safety. 

The hardest part of all of this is that I can't prepare or control what exactly will happen. I have no idea what will happen when I step off that plane in Buenos Aires, but I have a feeling it will be good. 

I'll post again soon about what and how I'm packing for the next 4 months in 1 suitcase, 1 carry-on bag, and 1 backpack. 

Summer Loving: Is it worth the effort?

College has left me in a very complicated situation as to where I can say I live. Depending on the month I can be in Southwest MO, Kansas City, or Buenos Aires, Argentina. And after I graduate next spring I could quite literally be anywhere in the world. So if I do meet someone that seems interesting, where do I tell them I'm living?

The problem with being in a million different places for odd amounts of time is that you have enough time to meet people but not enough to create a substainial relationship that would be worth trying to have through the distance. Maybe my problem is that I'm not meeting people that are worth attempting the distance for but I'm not sure.

So when you're single and home from college is a summer romance really worth it? Well that really depends on a lot of things but here are some questions to ask yourself to help figure it out.

Source

How did you meet this person?

If you met them in a bar at 1AM the chances of this relationship really going places are slim. Even if you are to start developing a relationship outside of an alcohol filled setting, the problem is you both will be questioning the others worth because of your circumstances and a serious relationship may never develop.

If you met during something a little more wholesome or doing something you have a shared interest in. IE: You're both lifeguards at Whitewater for the summer or you workout at the same time every week. Basically you have some kind of common ground to build upon then you're off to a good start.

How much do you like them?

This may seem like a silly question but it's one to consider. If you don't immediately answer A WHOLE LOT then your future is probably questionable. While this may not always be true, I'm a strong believer in first impressions and I think if you aren't intially crazy about a person, you never really will be.

If you do like them A WHOLE LOT then you have to really start thinking about if they are liking you a whole lot also. If they are then great! Get to work on building a stronger relationship for when you're not able to be together.

Source

Is a relationship realistic?

This one more applies to situations of extreme distance, such as international love. Even if you loved this person, would it be possible for you to be together? Would you be able to visit or see each other. This would be for example if you feel in love with someone from say China and they just graduated college and have to go home. They may not be able to get a visa to permantly stay with you or you just may not be able to afford to see them. If your relationship has no foreseeable light at the end of the tunnel it will probably just end in heartbreak.

What are both of your expectations and goals?

For myself, a guy that planned on staying in the Midwest probably just wouldn't be a good fit because I plan on living abroad. But for other people a guy that planned on travel extensively may be an awful fit! It's important to know where you both are going in life. Also do you know what they are expecting out of this relationship? Are they looking for a long term commitment or not? If you have different expectations this can quickly turn into a train wreck.

The most important thing to consider with your potential summer romance or with any budding relationship is to make sure you are on the same page. As awkward as it maybe, you need to find out what they want and make sure that it is what you want also. Plenty of summer romances have turned into great, lasting relationships. It really just depends on the effort you are willing to put in.


As Always, Stay Classy
XOXO

Hayley

You won't find love in someone's pants.

While it may seem silly, and you might be saying, "Hayley, I'm not stupid I know I won't find love in some persons pants." But secretly you think that you might. Just admit it. Virtually all sexually active women (maybe men also) like to hope to at least some degree that they will actually fall in love with someone they are hooking up with. Knowing that this is wrong isn't anything new to you. But I'm going to give you a new take on why it won't work, other than sex is immoral.

So we're all clear on the fact that sex doesn't equal love, right? If you're not, feel free to refresh yourself on the topic here. Now that we've gotten that all sorted out let's talk about why you can't possibly find love that way but why it's also not necessarily a bad thing.

On second thought, let's check in their pants...

What are your intentions? If you're just looking for a good time there is nothing wrong with casual sex or hooking up outside of a relationship. But if you are looking for a significant other or to fall in love, even secretly deep down inside, just don't do it. You won't find love.

The problem isn't so much that you're cheapening yourself or that you've become dirty somehow by having sex, but rather that you've already put it out there that a relationship is not what you want and they have too.

Even saying the whole, "I never do this!" line won't help you prove that you want a relationship. By having sex or engaging in sexual acts with them you made them think that you are on the same page of not wanting anything more. It's not because they're a douche (though they definitely can be!) it's the fact that you mislead them about what you were looking for.

You also get back, what you give out. When you make yourself seem like an easy, fun time that's all that you will get back in return. There is nothing more annoying than a girl that gets upset when a guy doesn't actually like her AFTER she's already had sex with him. Of course he doesn't want you to be his girlfriend! You didn't act like girlfriend material!! And frankly, you don't want that guy to be your boyfriend either if that's the way he was acting.

This isn't to say that you can't have sex for fun. You totally can, just don't expect them to want anything serious with you afterwards. Just don't have sex (at least at first) with people that you may want a relationship with in the future.

The moral of the story is that there is nothing wrong with sex, just make sure that you put out the same vibes that you are wanting to get back.



As always, stay classy
Hayley