Forgive and Forget: Part 2

Sorry for it taking so long for me to write this post!


So my previous post was all about how we hurt ourselves by not letting go of the past and forgiving people. Today I want to talk about what forgiveness does for you not that it's not good for the other person too.

By complete coincidence this happened to be the priests sermon today which was crazy that it was exactly what I was thinking about already. It was really cool like he was talking straight to me.

Via Pinterest

The most striking line to me of his whole sermon was when he talked about how you have to open your hand to receive love. But you can't receive it unless you let go of what is in your hand already. All your anger and resentment. As long as we hold onto grudges and bad feelings we can't ever accept love or feelings from someone else.

I think a big misconception about forgiveness is that someone has to ask for it or that you're doing it for the other person. Really forgiveness is about making things right in your own heart not necessarily theirs, even though that would be a bonus.

For myself I forgive by trying to justify what the other person did. I tell myself it wasn't personal or that they were influenced by another factor that made them the way they are.

For instance I forgive my ex for everything he did to me because that's the way his Dad acts and that's the way he was raised to treat women. I'm not saying it was right but I think in his mind it didn't seem wrong.

But what I ask myself after I do all this justification is why? I don't need to make excuses for anyone else or try to make them out to be a better person. I should forgive them because I am the better person. I can be the adult in the situation.

Truly what it comes down to is being an adult and caring enough about yourself that you don't need to continue being upset or angry at someone.

So I challenge you all to let go of whatever you may be holding onto to. You can do it openly through a comment or if you'd feel more comfortable shoot me an email about how you are letting go of a grudge (classyinkc@yahoo.com). Or just do it on your own!

Just remember you are letting go for YOU.

PS. Don't you love my new signature!! Halle over at Classic+Glam made it for me!

Forgive and Forget: Part 1

This is part of series I'm writing on forgiveness and what it means. Check back in the coming days for the next parts!

In one of my journalism classes we have been discussing a lot about the conflicts that happen in other countries and how so many of them are based off of things that people in those countries feel are historical wrongs. Basically, anytime they get asked why they hate that country or that group it's because 90 years ago they did this to us.

via Pinterest

Now doesn't that just seem silly? I guess the problem is that there is no set place to draw the line of when something is just "in the past."

This got me thinking that not only do countries and groups do this but people do this in relationships so much. Getting hung up on the past can be extremely detrimental to moving forward. My professor put it really well, "If you keep dewelling on the past how can you ever have peace?"

While he clearly meant peace in conflicts I think peace can also mean in a relationship. How can the fighting end unless someone lets go of the past? The truth is it probably can't.

I'm not a person to hold a grudge really but my former boyfriend could hold one better than any girl I know. If I did something wrong I would get reminded of it over and over and over. The thing was that it didn't change what I did. It didn't make either of us feel better about ourselves or our relationship.

I do think that their are certain things that maybe we can't "get over" or forgive. But if you find yourself experiencing one of those things in your relationship than maybe you should rethink it.

What I'm basically getting at is that while we should never let ourselves be pushovers we also shouldn't let the past stand in the way of our future and our potential. Getting upset about something is ok just don't let their wrong control your life.

Hmmm... this is going to get even more in depth tomorrow!



As Always, Stay Classy
XOXO


Hayley